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Old 2003-03-11, 10:06 AM   [Ignore Me] #1
SilentCacophony
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Not another political joke!?!?


Just for a change of pace from the political jokes, here's a funny one I just read

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa.
He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company.

One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and
before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly
in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!"
Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and
immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his
back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about
to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was
one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more
around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride,
as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into
the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close.
That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole
scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge
to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.
So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with
great speed, and figured that something must be up. The
monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans
and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says,
"Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to
happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the
monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to
do now?"

But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back
to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet...
and just when they get close enough to hear, the
dachshund says, "Where's that monkey? I sent him off
half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, THEN BAFFLE THEM WITH BULLSHIT!!
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Old 2003-03-13, 04:48 PM   [Ignore Me] #2
Derv
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Heh, that's pretty funny. I have a pet dachshund, and they are actually pretty smart dogs, but very loud with their high pitched barks. Very annoying.
(Btw, in case anyone doesn't know a Dachshund is a Weiner Dog)
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Old 2003-03-13, 07:09 PM   [Ignore Me] #3
KoldFusion
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LOL
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Old 2003-03-13, 07:15 PM   [Ignore Me] #4
Timormi
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lol thats not bad
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Old 2003-03-13, 07:18 PM   [Ignore Me] #5
snowwolfe
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lol thats good I like them little dogs
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Old 2003-03-13, 07:21 PM   [Ignore Me] #6
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Dachshund si l33t dogs. Had them the whole time I was growing up.
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Old 2003-03-13, 07:51 PM   [Ignore Me] #7
KoldFusion
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I had one to.... he was awesome.... I want to get another but I heard that all the terrible illnesses mine had is a breed wide deal.... i don't want that siffering again for either of us.
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Old 2003-03-14, 07:49 AM   [Ignore Me] #8
simba
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very nice my friend, Dachhund? Where does that word come from? hund is swedish for dog so is it swedish?
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Old 2003-03-14, 07:59 AM   [Ignore Me] #9
KoldFusion
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I think it is German
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Old 2003-03-14, 01:41 PM   [Ignore Me] #10
Zanzibar
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tis german
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Old 2003-03-14, 01:59 PM   [Ignore Me] #11
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Originally posted by WRH_KoldFusion
I had one to.... he was awesome.... I want to get another but I heard that all the terrible illnesses mine had is a breed wide deal.... i don't want that siffering again for either of us.
My family has had 5 of them, and only one had problems. The secret is not to get them from a pet store. Most pet store dogs have been inbread for so long that they all have health issues.
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Old 2003-03-14, 02:07 PM   [Ignore Me] #12
KoldFusion
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We didn't get him from a pet store.... but maybe the family that gave him to us did.... My dog had diabetes, thyroid issues, cancer, cateracts, back problems, and he was over wieght.... poor pup..... i miss him
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Old 2003-03-14, 02:22 PM   [Ignore Me] #13
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They all get back problems. That's unavoidable.

Did you have a Miniture or a Standard? Out of all the ones we have had we had 3 mini's and 2 standards. If you have never seen a Standard they get to be about 30 pounds! That's a lot of wenier dog!

One of them named Noopy was the smartest dog I have ever seen. He actually used to turn the TV on at 3 PM and watch Danial Boone.
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Old 2003-03-14, 02:24 PM   [Ignore Me] #14
Fire_Monkey
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nice Silent
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Old 2003-03-14, 02:36 PM   [Ignore Me] #15
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"Now where the hell is that monkey with my Leopard!"
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