The NCO and the Officer...

[Firefly]

Originally Posted by Cauldron Borne

I want to be in the military, so I guess I need to learn what a REMF means...

Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. In the rear with the gear. Not on the front lines getting shot at.

Originally Posted by Ducimus

Keep in mind that as a cadet, you learn how the military is supposed to be.

Later on you'll learn how it really is.

Especially when some groggy, tired, pissed-off Sergeant who's been micromanaged and had rank pulled on him for two months finally has enough of your pretentious bullshit and sticks his finger in your face and says, "Listen, 'sir'. Get your head out of your ass, or have it placed there by force over and over."

We had some dipshit lieutenant show up as a platoon leader, and he had the balls to claim that his four years of ROTC meant he had four years of field time. It was especially amusing when he said his summer camps were great eye-openers as to how the military should work and he started "laying down the law". The thing that gets me is, his predecessor (a great man) told him specifically, "These guys are pro. Stay out of their way. Make sure they get chow, make sure they have bullets, go to bat for them no matter what. But let them do their job the way they've been doing it, because it works." The n00b said he understood...

About two months later, when the company commander commended him on his troops doing a good job (notice there was no mention of him doing one), we had to break it to him that it was because we'd heard what he said, promptly ignored it when he was out of earshot, and went about our merry way.

[Ducimus]

Rear Echelon Mother Fucker - typically senior in rank. Theres the book, and then theres how its really done. This asshat Knows the Book backwards, and upside, and takes every opportunity to remind you of it. Goes by the book even when its not the brightest ways to go about things. Guy who sits in the rear, with the gear whos out in the field for a change, and thinks hes got it all figured out, and thinks his shit don't stink.

Situation Normal All Fucked Up - duh.... (SNAFU)
Lazy Inefficent Fucker Expecting Retirement (LIFER)
Bend Over Here It Comes Again (BOHICA)

Theres more, but my favorite one has got to be FIGMO.
Fuck It Got My Orders.

[Firefly]

FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

PLDC - pronounced as "Pull-Dick" (it's an Army school where they supposedly teach you to be a sergeant)

[Ducimus]

I wish i could be a fly on the wall if/when someone sends our budding butter bar to look for a PRC E9, or a gallon of K9P

[Firefly]

Originally Posted by Ducimus

I wish i could be a fly on the wall if/when someone sends our budding butter bar to look for a PRC E9, or a gallon of K9P

That reminds me. I heard a story at my first duty station about why we had to stop doing that.

Apparently, this new PV2 (E2) shows up straight out of school. His team chief sent him to Supply looking for a PRC E9. The supply sergeant plays along, sends him to battalion S4 (battalion-level logistics). Calls ahead, warns his buddy on the Good Ol Boy network that Private Newbie is coming in, and to keep him busy.

The new private gets there, stands at parade rest and asks the shop if they know where they can find a Prick E9. The sergeant in the shop looks confused, says to the new private, "Hey, that's at brigade. You know how to get there?" Gives him directions and everything.

On his way out, the private sees one of his friends, who graduated earlier. Ironic how the buddy has had the same experience and now knows what a PRC E9 is. He clues the private in. Private goes to his barracks room and takes the rest of the day off, with his own game in mind. His team chief comes around that afternoon to find out what the eff ol' Private Newbie is doing in his room when the team has been slaving away in the motor pool all day.

"Sergeant, the supply sergeant sent me to S4. S4 sent me to Brigade. Then Brigade said something about talking to the Sergeant Major [for you non-hablars, a sergeant-major is an E9 paygrade]. The Brigade Sergeant Major then said something about wanting to talk to you and the First Sergeant in his office. I dunno why, but he seemed mad."

[Ducimus]

HAH dont get me started!


THeres this one story i remember, i forget who or when or what they sent him to find, but what they didn't know was this FNG was prior service, and had done that song and dance before.

He went to the BX, got him some craft supplies, colored this thing OD Green, and stenciled the name on it in black. He then took a nap at his barracks room and then showed up for evening formation with the "item" he was sent to procure.

[Toimu]

The only one that was done to me was "Go to the motor pool and get some A.S.S. grease." I ask my NCO what does A.S.S. stand for, he was stump, and I figured out what was going on.

[Cauldron Borne]

I'm a fond believer in using 'The Book' as a way to keep me warm when I don't have lighter fluid.

Yer Acronyms, however, will be the death of me.

I've been to a few military camps (nothing like the real thing, I'm sure. But it DOES give me good practice seeing how I can identify good leaders and bad ones) where several 'higher ups' tried to pull a few practical jokes on me. They usually live to regrete it by the end of the week. I am a master at subtly, ironic, revenge. That and I know it's all a game anyway. At least during training it is. (preps himself for a war story from the Ol' Dog-faces...)

[Firefly]

The only war story I think appropriate to share is, during training it is a mind-game. And it's THEIR game with their rules. The guys who run this training have been doing it for a long time, and they've seen EVERY trick in the book. You simply have to play by their rules - and that means doing what they say. The way you win is, you have to keep in mind that it's a game and you win by "surviving". Of course, it's not like they're going to wash you out and ruin your life. Guys that went to Basic with me who couldn't cut the mustard were just recycled to another class until they "got it". That includes PT Failures, fat-boys, people who try playing the Section Eight game, people who suddenly rethink their desire to be in the military, and the drama-prone 17/18yr olds who were the top shit in their JROTC class and suddenly found themselves amongst former primadonnas who were equally competing for a place in the Drill Sergeant's primary boot-stomping zone. I say that realizing that you are in JROTC (as was I), as a word of advice. There will be a dozen other guys with that sort of background, and they'll all want to be the DS's pet. I saw two guys, who had every ribbon and medal and decoration in the JROTC book and were cadet-officers and drill team leaders and honor cadets and blah-blah, get into a fist fight over the PROSPECT of being a trainee squad leader. Which basically means jack and shit.

[Manitou]

It's amazing how much the military has changed over the years.

We were standing in line waiting to go through the gas chamber and one of my DS's comes walking up. This guy was a Vietnam Veteran and had been wounded and all that - a real mean SOB. (Both my DS's were Vietnam Vets. and both were meaner than anyone I have ever met - flat hated everyone and probably ate their mothers when they were born.) Tough as nails and always walked around whittling on pieces of wood with a huge, nasty looking knife. We were lined up pretty tight, and there was this guy standing about 4 people ahead of me. His last name was a Jewish name, lost to memory now, and the DS walks up to him and says real loud like, "Hey, I bet you know how your relatives felt now, don't you?" Lots of the guys kinda' chuckled nervously, since nobody really knew how to respond. I was pretty surprised at that, but didn't say squat.

You do something like that today, and the feces begin to contact the occilating device. Still remember that event like it was yesterday.

[Ducimus]

Originally Posted by Firefly

The only war story I think appropriate to share is, during training it is a mind-game. And it's THEIR game with their rules. The guys who run this training have been doing it for a long time, and they've seen EVERY trick in the book. You simply have to play by their rules - and that means doing what they say. The way you win is, you have to keep in mind that it's a game and you win by "surviving". Of course, it's not like they're going to wash you out and ruin your life. Guys that went to Basic with me who couldn't cut the mustard were just recycled to another class until they "got it". That includes PT Failures, fat-boys, people who try playing the Section Eight game, people who suddenly rethink their desire to be in the military, and the drama-prone 17/18yr olds who were the top shit in their JROTC class and suddenly found themselves amongst former primadonnas who were equally competing for a place in the Drill Sergeant's primary boot-stomping zone. I say that realizing that you are in JROTC (as was I), as a word of advice. There will be a dozen other guys with that sort of background, and they'll all want to be the DS's pet. I saw two guys, who had every ribbon and medal and decoration in the JROTC book and were cadet-officers and drill team leaders and honor cadets and blah-blah, get into a fist fight over the PROSPECT of being a trainee squad leader. Which basically means jack and shit.

There is one rule for training that i'm aware of:

Don't be first, don't be last, and don't volunteer for anything.

EDIT:
Oh ya, and incase you haven't figured it out, i was an ROTC type too. Now, as an Officer in training (IE, Cadet) i was taught to use my Diaphram. First time a drill sgt approached me, i sounded off out of habit, right in his face. That didn't go over so well as i'm sure you can imagine. From that moment foward, i dropped any former training like a bad habit. The only thing ROTC type stuff was realy good for, was you knew how to drill, and you have a clue about protocol. As for everythign else.. i kept quiet, and tried to stay low in profile. After i was trained and went to a CE unit, i never encountered anything resembling what ROTC spewed ever again. Never wore my class A's, just BDU's and steeltoed boots. heh. For me later on, open ranks inspection in the morning if they had one meant, no boom cords, black boots, and a clean set of BDU's. After the duty day, if your boots weren't brown, dusty, or otherwise covered with the crap you'd pick up in a construction site, (sheetrock dust or concrete), you were a fuckin up slacker.

[Doppler]

From the training enviroment two instances always stick in my head.

1 Had a TI who was about 5'2 with short mans syndrome. I was the tallest guy in my flight. No matter what i did, (being a brat i knew most of the discipline bit, and parade rest or attention had been fairly natural postures in my life.) because of these culminating factors i ended up as dorm chief for a bit. This ended quite spectacularly when i was trying to explain to a slacker that he was holding back the rest of the flight (in some rather colorfull language) when he took a swing at me. One very short fight later I was in front of the chief who ran the training section, who explained to me in no uncertain terms, that it was only because i had not instigated the fight other then trying to correct a fuck up, and had stoped very precisely at knocking the punk out (albeit with the aid of a wall locker) and my performance to that date, that i wasnt looking at an administrative discharge. On the plus side I was no longer dorm chief, which meant the rest of basic was a breeze as i only had myself to watch out for.


I have other stories from AD but thats my best trianing enviroment story.

[Firefly]

Originally Posted by Manitou

It's amazing how much the military has changed over the years.

We were standing in line waiting to go through the gas chamber and one of my DS's comes walking up. This guy was a Vietnam Veteran and had been wounded and all that - a real mean SOB. (Both my DS's were Vietnam Vets. and both were meaner than anyone I have ever met - flat hated everyone and probably ate their mothers when they were born.) Tough as nails and always walked around whittling on pieces of wood with a huge, nasty looking knife. We were lined up pretty tight, and there was this guy standing about 4 people ahead of me. His last name was a Jewish name, lost to memory now, and the DS walks up to him and says real loud like, "Hey, I bet you know how your relatives felt now, don't you?" Lots of the guys kinda' chuckled nervously, since nobody really knew how to respond. I was pretty surprised at that, but didn't say squat.

You do something like that today, and the feces begin to contact the occilating device. Still remember that event like it was yesterday.

It kinda depends on the situation. If you know the person and you know them well enough to joke around, yeah.

I don't give a shit what time of year or age it was. I'm Jewish - had that bastard said that to me, I probably would have replied with something like "Not as well as knowing what a VC pungi stick up the ass feels like." It might get me knocked flat or get me a million push-ups, but I'd feel it was worth it.

My mouth got me in trouble a lot in Basic. It also got me out of trouble sometimes, if I made a well-timed funny joke.

[Cauldron Borne]

I'm the kind of guy who will do everything that the 'boss' says to do. I screw it up a lot, but I try.

Now, when no-one's looking, THEN the fun begins. I'm a prankster through and through. Probably a habit I should drop before basic, but my buddies and I pull some pretty spectacular shit off.

[KIAsan]

Originally Posted by Ducimus

There is one rule for training that i'm aware of:

Don't be first, don't be last, and don't volunteer for anything.

Hell, that's SOP for everyday, not just training!

The only thing I ever volunteer for is deployments to Guam or Hawaii (and Alaska in the summer). Anything else, they gotta drag me kicking and screaming!!!!

BTW, I always use the regs to my full advantage! You got to know them to use them, so don't just ignore those puppies! If it weren't for regs, hell, I would be in Afghanistan right now, doing yet another long desert deployment!!!!