Assault

[Karak]

This is my first try at Fan fiction so please put in any constructive criticisms you can think of!! oh and there is almost definatly more coming

Aramos froze as his amplified ears picked up the hum of a cruising airship. Being careful to keep his movements small enough to not effect his camouflage he scanned the sky for the plane. �Airship sighted, bearing north east to the base� Kellan whispered from his radio, his keen eyes proving themselves again.

�Roger, to far off to spot us, keep moving� he breathed back. They were next to invisible, but not inaudible. The two man team continued their way to the base, slipping from tree to tree, avoiding the marsh water where the displacement could give away their positions to a careful watcher. There wasn�t supposed to be any of the dissident bastards on this approach to the base, but Aramos trusted the republics intelligence about as far as he could throw a Galaxy.

After what seemed an hour of torturously slow travel they reached there target, �I see our entrance, 50 meters from the southern corner�.

�Roger, prepare to hit the wall� Aramos scanned the wall top quickly, no soldiers and the turret targeting system wasn�t sophisticated enough to spot troops in infiltrator suits. �go go go� he saw a shimmer of air detach itself from a tree to his right and dash across the killing ground to the wall just as he did the same. One�.two�.three�..no one spotted them, Aramos let out the breath he hadn�t realized he was holding and started to move slowly towards back entrance.

He keyed his radio �Star burst, repeat star burst. This is viper, we are in position�

�affirmative viper I see you on my map, star burst ETA 1 minute� the powerful voice growled back at him. He winced glancing at the top of the wall.

�He never does seem to realize they can still hear us� muttered Kellan in his left ear.

�Get your REK ready, and be glad my radio wasn�t on� he could feel Kellans eyes going wide in shock for a second.

�Don�t scare me like that!� Aramos moved down into the back doors alcove and put his head to the door. A dangerous remnant of the original colonization plans for the planet. If only it were possible to permanently damage NTU constructs these would have all been sealed shut long ago, the were a major flaw in any base commanders defenses.

�I can�t hear anyone on the other side�

�roger that, I�m ready soon as they bloo. Kellan was cut off by a series of massive concussions. �THAT�S THEM GET THAT DOOR OPEN!� yelled Aramos over the howl of the defenders and the blasts of the falling bombs. Kellan re-appeared as a shimmer as he went to work on the lock.

[Karak]

Buln grunted as the Sunderer hit yet another bump in the road. �Dammit Robbie try not to shake my armor apart before I get a chance to use it!� he roared down the line of armored soldiers at the drivers cab.

�But Buln my dear, don�t you want me to run over these stupid rebels that keep getting in front of me� Robbie giggled back over the Sunderers intercom. The rest of the soldiers cheered and laughed

�get them wheels bloody� one yelled. Buln grunted sourly again and re-ran the diagnostic on his suit. The go order had come 45seconds ago his HUD told him which meant another 15 till they hit their way point. Sure enough

�Ready first team, your jump is coming up� Buln smiled grimly

�alright boys this is our chance, our target is the spawn tubes in the towers basement. We are gonna hit those bastards hard and show them the price for fucking with the republic!�

He was answered by a roar as the Sunderer�s doors snapped open onto the side of the tower. He leapt out the servos in his MAX suits legs whining to absorb the impact. Bringing his guns up in line with the towers door he was rewarded by them revealing a tiny rebel in nothing more than agile armor. His smile turned into a rictus snarl as he flexed is hands and unloaded a mortar shell into the hapless mans chest. His squad plowed through the door and the shattered remains of the rebel. Buln strode after them as the Sunderer swerved around the towers corner to drop the other half of the squad at the other door. Turning, he headed down the stairs following his squad. The floor was littered with dozens of unprepared rebels and only one of his troops. They had done well and were gunning down everything that stepped out of the tubes. He raised his guns and drove his stabilizers into the towers floor; his squad hit the ground as he unleashed a barrage onto the tubes turning them into so much slag. �Alright squad, secure the entrances!� he roared over the ringing in his ears.

Pulling his stabilizers back out of the nanite flooring he strode back up and out of the door just in time to see the rest of the Republics assault force surge past the tower. The bombs roaring in the background cut off abruptly as they reached the forts main gates. The Assault forces compliment of Sunderers and Deliverers dropping their load of troops at the bases main entrance. One tried to get closer to the interior facilities doors but hit a mine and flipped the APC destroying it, and everyone in it. The rest of the troops rushed into the base as the attacks armor and buggies sped off to surround the base. �NC HEADING THIS WAY FROM THE EAST CORPORAL!!� screamed a voice into his ear.

�Then why are you yelling at me instead of firing at THEM!� he roared back as he moved to intercept the retaliating forces.

[Karak]

Aramos froze as his audio amplifier picked up another set of armored boots running down a corridor. The device thought for a second and then plotted the most likely position of the noises creator on his HUD. He breathed out again there had been a lot of close calls already. He could hear the retorts of weapons above which meant the decoy assault had begin in earnest. Focus! He thought furiously distraction gets you killed fool. He slinked further into the base moving towards the command console in the basement. He hoped Kellan was still right behind him. Just around this corner and that should be the large storage rooms then a short corridor to the console. He moved up to the very edge of the door way and slowly eased his head around to scan the chamber. He froze again just in time to avoid being spotted by a rebel striding towards them. Really towards them! He was headed straight for the corridor they were standing in. Aramos froze sweat trickling down his neck. Their suits had no armor and the enemy was in a reinforced suit just one step down from MAX armor. He just managed to hold in a loud exhalation as the trooper marched past him but tensed in shock as he heard a thud of bodies colliding. Without thought he span, his knife coming up as he reached for the unbalanced soldiers head. He jerked it back and silenced him before he could even finish his �what th�� He caught the corpse as it slumped and quickly dragged it into the storage room hiding it behind some crates. Hunkering down there himself, he felt a hand on his shoulder and reached back cat quick grabbing Kellans wrist in a crushing grip.

�We will discuss this when we get back soldier� he growled. Kellan gasped in assent as Aramos let go and turned his attention to scanning the room. They had been incredibly lucky no one had noticed Kellans idiotic blunder. He double checked his HUD and then started moving towards the entrance to the command console chamber, hugging the crates and the rooms shadows as cover. No one was around but better to be safe than sorry.

The door was in a clear area away from any crates so they could not sneak all the way up too it. He paused at the last cover before the door glanced around and rushed across the space hitingt the wall next to the doors IFF lock. He felt Kellan push up beside him and then saw him as he started work hacking the lock. Kellan was concentrating hard trying to make up for his earlier lapse and Aramos could hear his heavy breathing. �Calm Kell� he murmured �need you icy if we are going to pull this off�

�Roger boss� he whispered back and made and effort to quite his breathing. The door lock bleeped as it finally gave up and opened. They both leapt through and pressed themselves into the corridors walls as the door hissed shut again. Aramos steeled himself sliding slowly forward to the final door. This one had no lock and would open as soon as they stepped close enough, showing their presence to every enemy in the room. He pulled his pistol out and checked the clip and breach before letting his cloak reassert itself around him a shimmer on the opposite wall showed Kellan doing the same. The door before them abruptly hissed open and a trooper took one step out before raising his eyes from the floor. He let out a startled yell and fell back into the command room the other two soldiers visible through the door grabbing their weapons. Aramos dropped to one knee yelling �Dark light� and opened up with his repeater. He missed the first man but caught the second a blow to his shoulder spinning him round and another at the base of the skull that punched through his agile armor helmet and dropped him like a rock. Kellan opened up next to him then and they both put about 5 bullets a piece into the first mans breastplate before he went down. The third had jumped to one side and now leaned round the corner to fire back with his rifle catching Kellan in the leg dropping him. Aramos rolled forward ,as the rebel swept the corridor with bullets, pulling his knife he kept his momentum going and came back to his feet by the mans side. Unable to keep up with Aramo�s quick movement his rifle was still swinging back when the knife went into his armpit and his ribs. He pushed the man off his knife and whipped out his hand held medical applicator and rushed back to Kellans slumped form. Acting quickly he scanned Kellan; just the one leg wound thank the Republic. If he had lost the hacker the entire operation would have been lost. He patched it up quickly and dragged the boy to his feet and into the room letting the door his closed again behind them. He flung him towards the command console and got in position to cover the doors. Kellan still groggy from the pain and the applicators effects moved sluggishly to begin hacking the base. He shook his head and bent of the console intently though, bringing his REK to bear.

Aramos clicked on his radio. �Star burst this is Viper, press them hard we have begun.�

�Roger Viper, excellent work!� was the rapid reply. �ALRIGHT MEN PR*click*� the answer came. Aramos grinned, he had served several campaigns under their current command Tomas and the man was nothing if not aggressive, bulling seeing red aggressive. Abruptly his HUD lit up with hostile markers as the three troops that were defending the room came back with the fourth from the corridor fresh from the bases spawn tubes. He glanced over his shoulder, Kellan was still intent on getting the base hacker program planted in the command console. No help there, he cursed under his breath and checked the ammo on his pistol. Re-holstering it he re engaged his cloak and stepped back out of the command room. They would be expecting them both to be in the room, he should be able to catch them at a disadvantage further out he thought grimly.

[Karak]

Buln twisted, surprisingly agile in the massive MAX suit, blasting at the NC hiding in the trees at the base of the towers hill. �Tower squad, soon as you have the last of that trash cleaned up move to the base gates. Hold them tight�

�Roger sir� Buln snapped back, spinning to survey the tower. Nothing, and the engineers had the tower ringed with temporary turrets and the spawn tubes were repaired and functioning under Republic control. �Squad move up to the gates, cover and advance I don�t want any surprises�

he was answered by a chorus of �Rogers!� as his team wheeled and headed to toward the base. They spread out moving from tree to tree. All the NC outside the base seemed to have been taken out but it always paid to be careful as his brother told him. Buln wondered for a moment how Aramos was doing but quickly dismissed the thought and concentrated again on the situation at hand. As they approached the gates they could see a fierce fire fight inside. The damn rebels seemed to be occupying the base walkways and balconies while their own troops took what cover they could on the ground. The vehicle creation pad was a smoking hole from the bombing run earlier but other than that the base seemed intact. The area just inside the gate and outside it was littered with the burned out hulks of the Assault forces personnel carriers and the few armored vehicles dumb enough to try and enter the courtyard. Buln took cover behind the remains of a vanguard and his squad went down behind the scattered hulks and the remains of the nanite barricades the defenders had tried to drag across the gateway. Buln sneered at the NC crowded along the base walkways and activated his suits stabilizers signaling his squads other pounder MAX to do the same.

Carefully aiming they both sent test shots arching up getting close to the right trajectory Buln opened up and fired the mortars as fast as the mechanism would recycle itself. The powerful explosives ripped into the scum on the balcony halfing the number up there in seconds as the other MAX concentrated on a walkway further away. The NC withdrew under the barrage and the Republic troops ,suppressive fire removed, surged forward from their cover and hit the doors into the base and up onto the walls simultaneously. �Excellent work Buln, keep the gates secure for us� growled the commander from his radio�

�Roger sir, just giving the dissidents what the deserve� Bulns squad had already set themselves into defensive positions; he had picked them himself for their skill and experience. He had not included anyone he didn�t know he could rely on. One of the joys of being a highly decorated squad leader the pick of the crop. The other being they were sent to take out rebel resistance points regularly. Buln clenched his jaw at the thought; �fucking rebels� he muttered savagely glaring at the courtyard for something to shoot. Fortunately for the NC they were all to near Republic soldiers for him to risk miss firing. He stamped his armored boot and went back to scanning the area.

[Karak]

Aramos keyed off his knifes chainsaw blade and wiped it clean on the last of the four who had been trying to retake the command console. The alarm lights set on just about every wall he could see suddenly started flashing yellow as his radio crackled to life �the program has been planted, fifteen minutes till we have control�

�Roger that, on my way back to your position� he breathed back to Kellan and loped back towards the command room. This was too easy only four troops in the basement and pretty bloody awful ones at that. This couldn�t be right. This base was at a critical point on the continents lattice. Something was going on. His senses warned him mere seconds before the knife was thrust towards him. He just managed to twist to the side dropping down and bringing his leg round tripping the rippling, see through image in front of him. One quick thrust and the figures cloak dropped as Aramos pulled his knife out its neck. I am getting slow if one idiot can attack me from the front and get that close he thought. It was the worry he realized he knew this was wrong. There should be more resistance than this. He stood frowning down at the corpse as it dissolved into glowing puddles of nanites and was absorbed into the rooms floor. Shaking himself he jogged back to the command chamber he guessed about ten minutes left till the program had control of the base. Kellan quickly confirmed this and Aramos settled down to cover the chambers entrances.

[Karak]

ok ive still got some ideas on where to take this but I am going to let it sit for a little bit and see if anyone likes it

feel free to post comments, or PM me with them or what ever grabs your fancy

[MJBuddy]

watch the grammer, same paragraph quotes from 2 different people, misuse of commas, etc etc. You said you want to get into serious writing and you need to work on those specifically.

[Katanaboy]

Very good job for your first story. I like your vocabulary, voice, and style. The plot is great, and I believe you have a very good talent for writing. Anyway, onto the constructive criticism.

Kellan�s keen eyes proving themselves again.

I dont understand this sentence, when given its surrounding context. Perhaps you should reword it.

Half a dozen Sunderers and Deliverers dropping off troopers at the entrance way.

This is a sentence fragment, and also needs rewording.

Aramos dropped to one knee yelling �Dark light� and opened up with his repeater. He missed the first man but caught the second a blow to his shoulder spinning him round and another at the base of the skull that punched through his standard armor and dropped him like a rock.

I like how you threw away planetside's in-game physics for a more realistic look at things, although standard armor has no headpiece, so there is no armor to punch through. After all, any bullet from any gun can kill.

Aramos rolled forward ,as the rebel swept the corridor with bullets, pulling his knife he kept his momentum going and came back to his feet by the mans side.

Good use of description, the reader can easily visualize the scene in his head. Also, once again, thank you for straying away from what can or cannot be done in-game and approaching it from a real-life perspective.

It was the worry he realized, he knew this was wrong, there should be more resistance than this.

Good use of suspense--it will keep readers interested (hopefully ) and coming back for more.

Hope this helped, and hope to see more

Sincerely,
Katanaboy

[Karak]

hehe thanks guys. I know ive always had problems with commas. However im not sure what you mean by same paragraph quotes from two diffrent people?

oh the thing with his eyes, it was supposed to be Kellan that had spotted the plane.
I am going to go through it now and try and do the corrections you guys suggested

[MJBuddy]

when having a dialogue, ie. 2 people speaking

you seperate the two people's quoted sentences by forming new paragraphs for each new person speaking

[Karak]

ok thanks, i guessed it was something like that but wanted to make sure. I went through and made the changes and tried to clean up my grammer some.


nother few installments coming soon