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2003-10-26, 10:58 PM
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[Ignore Me] #1 | ||
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General
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The Terran and Vanu, at the height of the arms race, realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Terran found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were three inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the fight, the Vanu showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Vanu because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Terran dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Terran dog almost completely surrounded. When the Terran dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Terran dog. The Terran came up to the Vanu, shaking their heads in disbelief. `We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves." "That's nothing," a Vanu replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
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Take what you can! Give nothing back! Last edited by Bighoss; 2003-10-26 at 11:05 PM. Reason: to change Americans and Russians to Vanu and Terran |
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2003-10-26, 11:00 PM
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[Ignore Me] #2 | ||
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Lightbulb Collector
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And this is related to PlanetSide...how?
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2003-10-26, 11:02 PM
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[Ignore Me] #4 | ||
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Lightbulb Collector
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Vaaaash!
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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