Me and the Mighty Lobstermen!

[Bighoss]

Okay so I got my nonecommerical lobster license, bought 5 really cheap traps from my neighbor and set them out off the coast of this island where I saw a lot of other traps. I hauled 3 of them and got 5 keepers! All hail Hoss the mighty lobsterman!

On another note the real lobstermen are assholes! They cut one of my traps because some guy considered it his territory. Secondly I live on a road that goes right down to my towns marina as well as 2 private marinas and a tourist trap seafood shack. Anyway our town put a speed bump on the road to keep people from speeding but the lobstermen come roaring down this road at like 5 in the morning and honk there horns as loud as they can and for like 10 seconds. The other night my neighbor got pissed and jumped in his car followed this one guy who did it and told him he'd file a harrasment charge. BTW these lobsterman aren't like the stereotypical bear belly but ripped arms kind of guy. There like these 25 year old scrawny assholes who drive these huge ass dodge trucks. Its all quiet for the next 48 hours we think we've won the battle BUT THEN! the fuckers tack there huge ass truck drop the snow plow down and rip the fucking speed bump out! Well our neighbors were pissed we called the police but they said it would be a few days so my neighbor just went out and put it back in himself. By the way its mad out of this light metal and its pretty small, they install it every summer. So anyway I'm gonna sit out on watch I think and wait for the fucker that rips it out again memorize his license plate number and just call the cops. Problem is though if they figure out I have a nonecommerical license for fun and figure out what my buoy color is they're just gonna go cut them all!

[Rbstr]

lol asses

[JetRaiden]

I say slash their tires. that'll slow em down.

[EineBeBoP]

Indeed. camp out one night with a spike strip and activate it every time you see a big truck

[OneManArmy]

all hail the lobsterhoss!

seriously what they said, tire spikes work wonders for people like that.

[Fragmatic]

Caltrops... harder to see and cause alot of damage

[Jaged]

Explosives

[AztecWarrior]

Key their cars. Specifically, scratch crude symbols and words into them.

[Spee]

SMG spray from a vantage point.

[Triggar]

Dress up like a security guard and conduct body cavity searches. With a lobster.

[JetRaiden]

Originally Posted by Triggar

Dress up like a security guard and conduct body cavity searches. With a lobster.

the winnah!

[Bighoss]

I might just have to do that, in the name of the blue collar/white collar war!

[Neon Apocalypse]

wait for them to come down and lay down some retractable spikes near the speed bump

pop their tires

[Bighoss]

okay here is a really funny update. The lobstermen started driving AROUND the bump like over someones lawn so the town just put in these two signs right where the lobstermen were driving over. So I was getting back from my nightly 3 mile run and as I near my house I notice a lobsterman swerving to go over the lawn, SUDDENELY he notices the sign and swerves back but its too late, the sign rips off his fucking mirror and I think left a nice scratch on his truck. Oh man it was beautiful.

[Ivan]

Awesome! Did his mirror come off? You should some how mount in out in you lawn or near the bump as if it were a decapitated heat of an enemy to demoralize further enemy attacks.