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Old 2004-12-02, 11:17 PM   [Ignore Me] #1
AztecWarrior
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Shenanigan in religion class


NOTE: The Freuidan slip present is not mine- I am not anti-semitic.

Earlier in the class we had learned from the theology teacher that one of the students in 12th grade who lived in Little Haiti (a real place, not just part of Vice City) had his house burn down by an electrical fire.

Of course, the social justice advocate that she is, was a firm believer that these things happened more in poorer inner-city, predominantly black areas, thus, someone or something is to blame.

Anyway, while she was speaking, demanding that something be done, she uttered this perfect racist statement:

"We ought to get some Jewish lawyer-err, shark lawyer..."

At which point the class went silent, then "Did she just say...?", then laughter. Probably the last person on earth I'd expect to make a slip of that magnitude.

EDIT: Clarification: We weren't laughing with the joke, we were laughing at the teacher for making such a comment.
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Last edited by AztecWarrior; 2004-12-02 at 11:29 PM.
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Old 2004-12-02, 11:21 PM   [Ignore Me] #2
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Old 2004-12-02, 11:24 PM   [Ignore Me] #3
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chuckle...?

Not to be too brass, but I would have got a blank face if I delivered that line in a circle of friends that way.

I guess jewish and lawyer should automatically be funny?

I guess I had to be there...

Edit: I read it 5 or six times, I'm not jewish. I think i'm lacking humor from these threads.

Pants?

Last edited by GeneralRazor; 2004-12-02 at 11:27 PM.
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Old 2004-12-02, 11:27 PM   [Ignore Me] #4
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Agh, I don't want to offend our Jewish population here, but: some people believe that the majority of lawyers, or at least a huge amount, are Jewish.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2004-12-02, 11:31 PM   [Ignore Me] #5
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Originally Posted by AztecWarrior
Agh, I don't want to offend our Jewish population here, but: some people believe that the majority of lawyers, or at least a huge amount, are Jewish.
I fully understand that. I wasn't born yesterday (no offense). But I cannot find the humor in that. I guess I should let humor be humor and leave, but man, where's it funny?
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Old 2004-12-02, 11:34 PM   [Ignore Me] #6
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The religion teacher was racist.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2004-12-02, 11:40 PM   [Ignore Me] #7
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Originally Posted by AztecWarrior
The religion teacher was racist.
Yea Razor, that's the whole point.
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Old 2004-12-03, 12:01 AM   [Ignore Me] #8
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Jewish jokes are some of the best. Hell, i'm Jewish and I make them with my family.

"Hey, Uncle Glenn, quit being a fucking *** with the taters and give me some"

I used that line at Thanksgiving, my family loved it.

Who remembers the episode of Family Guy where it cuts to a scene where Peter is rich, the Hollywood sign is in the background, and he's on the phone and then he falls down the hill into a cactus. He has a Star Of David on.

But when someone is genuinely anti-semetic, I have no problem bashing their fuck in.
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Old 2004-12-03, 02:05 AM   [Ignore Me] #9
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Originally Posted by AztecWarrior
Agh, I don't want to offend our Jewish population here, but: some people believe that the majority of lawyers, or at least a huge amount, are Jewish.
**** run everything! The five **** run the world! [/south park]
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Old 2004-12-03, 05:33 AM   [Ignore Me] #10
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religion class???? WTF???? Is the bible your text book?
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Old 2004-12-03, 05:57 AM   [Ignore Me] #11
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Accountants actually...
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Old 2004-12-03, 05:58 AM   [Ignore Me] #12
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Originally Posted by I Hate Pants
religion class???? WTF???? Is the bible your text book?
Some private schools practice religious conditioning.
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Old 2004-12-03, 11:14 AM   [Ignore Me] #13
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Originally Posted by Squeeky
Jewish jokes are some of the best. Hell, i'm Jewish and I make them with my family.
My grandmother is the executive director of a temple in the heart of Seattle. Meaning she's more *** than Yew.

The two best ones she taught me were these:

What's the difference in Santa Claus and the Jewish Santa Claus?
-- When Hannuka Harry comes down the chimney he says "Hey kiddies, anyone wanna buy any toys?"

What's the difference in a pit bull and a Jewish mother?
-- A pitbull eventually lets go.

I don't think anyone but we **** will get the last one. My mother, she guilted me for that last one by the way.
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Old 2004-12-03, 12:41 PM   [Ignore Me] #14
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Originally Posted by Firefly
What's the difference in a pit bull and a Jewish mother?
-- A pitbull eventually lets go.


I've always heard that **** were a lot like Sicilians.

Now I know for sure
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Old 2004-12-03, 12:41 PM   [Ignore Me] #15
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*** jokes are the bomb
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