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Old 2003-11-27, 03:11 AM   [Ignore Me] #1
MrVicchio
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Made me laugh.


Heaven's New Policy

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So,the Angel announced, "Ok, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."

"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.

A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says," Please tell me how you died." The third man says,"Ok, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
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Old 2003-11-27, 04:01 AM   [Ignore Me] #2
arctik
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HAhaha thats good shit. "Picture this... I'm naked in a refrigerator."

Lol.
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Old 2003-11-27, 04:36 AM   [Ignore Me] #3
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Very funny
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Old 2003-11-27, 04:54 AM   [Ignore Me] #4
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Old 2003-11-27, 05:10 AM   [Ignore Me] #5
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Old 2003-11-27, 06:22 AM   [Ignore Me] #6
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Originally Posted by FraudulentBob
Shut up ***!

Good one Vic !
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Old 2003-11-27, 11:14 AM   [Ignore Me] #7
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Old 2003-11-27, 11:25 AM   [Ignore Me] #8
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If only it were true... or is it?
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Old 2003-11-27, 11:41 PM   [Ignore Me] #9
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It's not that great. :/
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Old 2003-11-27, 11:44 PM   [Ignore Me] #10
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lol yea it is,told it at dinner today and people were cracking up.I guess if you believe in religon then you might not like it tho
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Old 2003-11-27, 11:49 PM   [Ignore Me] #11
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Originally Posted by FraudulentBob


Funny as hell Vic.
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Old 2003-11-28, 12:32 AM   [Ignore Me] #12
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I've heard it told differently, but i forgot how it goes, its still a good one
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Old 2003-11-28, 12:34 AM   [Ignore Me] #13
MrVicchio
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I am religious and loved this.

Remember, any God that would create the platypus has to have one hell'va sense of humor.
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Old 2003-11-28, 09:46 AM   [Ignore Me] #14
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lmao, best joke I've heard in a long time.
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Old 2003-11-28, 03:18 PM   [Ignore Me] #15
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thats fukin great
Deffinatly one of the best jokes ive heard.


What did the woman say to michael jackson at the beach?





Excuse me sir, your in my son. (son sounds like sun)
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