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2004-08-23, 03:50 PM
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[Ignore Me] #1 | ||
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Contributor Major General
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A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
Two blonde genies appear and tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100.00 bills. Then, there is a knock at the door. He answers the door and standing there are two people dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he is dead. The Klansmen walk off. As they are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one, "I don't get it. I can understand the first wish, having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But why he'd want to be hung like a black man is beyond me." -------------------- A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House", in French, is feminine - "la maison". "Pencil", in French, is masculine - "le crayon." One puzzeled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. Just for fun, she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" shoud be a masculine or feminine noun. Both goups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men's goup decided that computers should definitely be of the female gender ("la computer") because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to every one else. 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. --------------------- The next time you are having a bad day think about this bloke....... He's a siamese twin His brother, attached at the shoulder, is gay He is not His brother has a date coming over tonight They only have one arsehole..........*the horror*
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2004-08-23, 05:21 PM
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[Ignore Me] #2 | |||
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Lieutenant General
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What do you call 3 white guys push'in a truck up a hill?
WHITE POWER!
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2004-08-23, 05:41 PM
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[Ignore Me] #4 | |||
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Lieutenant Colonel
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Last edited by Smaug; 2004-08-23 at 05:44 PM. |
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2004-08-24, 03:00 AM
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[Ignore Me] #11 | |||
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Banned
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Last edited by SDM; 2004-08-24 at 03:07 AM. |
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2004-08-24, 03:11 AM
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[Ignore Me] #12 | |||
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Lieutenant Colonel
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