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2013-03-18, 01:38 PM | [Ignore Me] #1 | |||
Captain
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Here is what I believe to be the TRUE story behind the actual leader of the New Conglomerate:
I hope you enjoyed the read, as this is my first so-called "fan fiction." Even though I think that this should be the actual lore behind the NC leader. >_> Last edited by HiroshiChugi; 2013-03-18 at 01:54 PM. |
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2013-03-18, 01:58 PM | [Ignore Me] #2 | |||
Master Sergeant
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It leaves room for it actually being the Vanu aliens (or even another life form) that's doing these assassinations. |
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2013-03-18, 02:07 PM | [Ignore Me] #3 | ||
Lieutenant Colonel
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fail
Stop totally twsting the rather simple and elegant lore of the NC. - we like individual freedom - we let corporations run rampant - our idea of technology is - build a bigger gun
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Wherever you went - Here you are. |
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2013-03-18, 02:28 PM | [Ignore Me] #4 | ||
Master Sergeant
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"Z" sounds more of a fantasy than science fiction character, "demonic superbeing, older than Universe itself" type of thing.
Also, I wouldn't believe NC having a single person in charge. They began as a conglomeration of biggest companies under one banner, they wouldn't just say: "You're in charge of all of our businesses from all of our companies." NC is corporation, their army are mercenaries, or "freedom" fighters. Their leader is not a leader but a Council. Do something in this direction. |
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2013-03-18, 05:00 PM | [Ignore Me] #5 | ||
Contributor First Sergeant
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Hey Hiroshi,
Cool idea! I do like the idea of a mysterious leader behind everything. I don't think that would fit in exactly with my interpretation of the NC but I think yours is equally cool and original . Just my two cents - when I've written stories within a particular universe I've found it difficult to write about really important characters in the lore (the leaders of each faction being an example), or trying to reinterpret official storylines. People tend to get emotionally invested in a faction/major characters in the universe, and so if you try to 'change history' by writing your own lore then some people disagree quite heatedly! Also you run the risk that the developers come out with new lore that completely contradicts what you have written (although maybe you don't mind about that ). What I do find that works though is creating your own characters within the loose confines of the Universe, fitting in with the rough ideologies and events already given to you by the creators. Then you are completely free to write exciting stories where you can do whatever you want with the characters and the storyline without pissing anyone off or running the risk of contradicting the official lore. Of course, you don't have to listen to anything I say, it's cool to go and rewrite the lore and the stories of the main characters too, but I just thought I'd give you a little of my own personal perspective before you dive in too deep . Keep it up! Sonny |
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2013-03-18, 05:32 PM | [Ignore Me] #6 | ||
Captain
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To every negative comment: I appreciate your feedback, but I believe you may have misread my work. I'm saying that yes, there IS a council in charge of the NC, but what if it was originally just one guy in charge that died, but was rebirthed using a rebirthing chamber, to keep leading the NC. Like a little government conspiracy, just like we have today. It leaves for open speculation on who this "Z" character really is. it may be that one guy that's been constantly put in a rebirthing chamber, or it may be more than one person that has taken the position of the original Z over the years. Really, all I did here was leave the audience open for their own speculation on who Z really is, this one guy, or a so-called "bloodline" of more than one person.
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2013-03-18, 07:02 PM | [Ignore Me] #7 | ||
Lieutenant Colonel
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No - I get it.
I just dont like it. Its great for you that you like to write fan fiction and in that sense its totally up to you what you write. And I hope you enjoy it. But when you start conspicuously flagging the devs attention hoping the story can be bigger than just some fan fiction - then I want to point out how I find the story annoying and I think it detracts from the existing lore.
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Wherever you went - Here you are. |
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2013-03-18, 08:44 PM | [Ignore Me] #8 | |||
Captain
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1. Just because you don't agree with me trying to fill in gaps in the Planetside 2 lore, doesn't mean you gotta down it so much. 2. You said you enjoy it, so leave it at that. 3. How the hell does it "detract from the existing lore?" 4. How in the world is it conspicuously flagging down the devs hoping that my story can become more than just fan-fiction? I'm doing it out in the open, plain as day. 5. We all know that Planetside 2 needs the gaps in the story where it doesn't tell the leaders of each faction specifically. |
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2013-03-19, 08:30 AM | [Ignore Me] #9 | |||
Lieutenant Colonel
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You seem to have confused "conspicuously" with "conspiratorially." I know you are "doing it out in the open, plain as day." "Conspicuously" mean in an obvious attention gathering manner.
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Wherever you went - Here you are. |
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2013-03-21, 06:16 AM | [Ignore Me] #11 | ||
Corporal
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Sorry nope. The writing isn't up too snuff , if you want to get people behind a story you need to spin it right first. Sounds like a rip off any number of Anime/Manga story lines out there.
"Anyways, it doesn't matter if you like it, I like it, I wrote it, and that's all that matters. ^_^" Then why don't you frame it on the wall in your bedroom instead of posting on here where you don't want to receive criticism. Last edited by TheAadvark; 2013-03-21 at 06:18 AM. |
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2013-03-28, 08:36 AM | [Ignore Me] #13 | ||
Corporal
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I'd say there's a lot that you could do with this story, but it's really very vague as-is. There's a lot more "tell" than there is "show" here, and I've found that can be really difficult to pull off well; it's easier to get the reader to relate to your storyline if you use people, doing people things, to tell the story, in my experience. Example, instead of a bit regarding the grand story of humanity's initial reaction to aliens, a story about the ship that makes first contact, and the crew's differing opinions regarding how to proceed. Or, instead of droning on about tensions in the empire, a traveling merchant witnesses an act of brutality and talks with a bartender before leaving town. An engaging story that happens to establish setting and tone has always seemed more palatable to me than a dictation of the way things are.
Just my view on things. |
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