Caligula, 2/12/01 - 9/5/04 - Page 2

oddfish · 2004-09-15, 10:20 PM

Squeeky.. i'm just gonna smile and nod.

and, you can keep the virgins.. can i just have my cat back?

Squeeky · 2004-09-15, 10:33 PM

I was tryin to cheer ya up

I'm sure he's chillin in heavin wif a 40 like the little gangster he is.

oddfish · 2004-09-15, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by Squeeky

I was tryin to cheer ya up

I'm sure he's chillin in heavin wif a 40 like the little gangster he is.

i know, squeeks

and trust me, you did..

i just want the little bastard to jump across my art pad..

but, yeah.. though, Caligula seems more like the kind of cat that would enjoy a Martini or a dry Chardonay.. perhaps scotch, on the rocks, if he's feeling frisky.

Triggar · 2004-09-15, 10:38 PM

Do you have any pictures of him?

EDIT: I told my sister about your kitty, she said:

IWonTheLenox (22:28:06): stop! i'll cry
IWonTheLenox (22:28:08): i'm not kidding
IWonTheLenox (22:28:12): i'll burst out into tears

oddfish · 2004-09-15, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by Triggar

Do you have any pictures of him?

EDIT: I told my sister about your kitty, she said:

IWonTheLenox (22:28:06): stop! i'll cry
IWonTheLenox (22:28:08): i'm not kidding
IWonTheLenox (22:28:12): i'll burst out into tears

a bunch, but they're all at my uncle calvin's place in a box and they're probably under boxes of shit because it was one of the boxes i moved from my papa's joint. i'll post some of the little guy A.S.A.P.

you guys have to see how evil this cat looked. he was the shit.

wow.. okay.. i really miss him..

Triggar · 2004-09-15, 10:41 PM

Let it out, buddy. We won't make fun of you.

oddfish · 2004-09-15, 10:49 PM

Originally Posted by Triggar

Let it out, buddy. We won't make fun of you.

i'm just not used to losing things..

i always push things away before they can get too close to hurt me when they leave...

i wasn't ready for this.. this wasn't something that was part of my plan. it came out of nowhere and just kinda put everything else in the background.

i just watched him run out into the street. then he got hit.

i should've run out after him. or i probably should've put him in the car first. i dunno. i could've put him in something like a box or a little cage or something. that was stupid.

it's just really fucked up because every time i think about the little shit all i can think of is sitting in the front seat of the car listening to him breathing with the rain hitting the car and the wind outside and i could still hear him breathing and feel his little heart beating against my leg.

now, all i can think is that it just isn't fair even though i know there's not one fucking thing anyone could have done and all i want to do is blame someone even if it's myself and i know that that is just stupid and i'm going fucking INSANE because i just want the little fucker to run across my art pad. that's all i want. that's it.

Triggar · 2004-09-15, 10:51 PM

I feel so bad for you. I might even cry.

Call me if you want to chat, I'll PM you my number.

oddfish · 2004-09-15, 11:03 PM

i'm almost 21 years old and i still can't figure this shit out.

i mean, i know it was just a cat. it wasn't like, my dad or anything, but still. i loved Caligula. he was my homie. we rolled on some mofo's like whoompdie whoomp ***** what!

i mean, times when people just could all go fuck themselves and rot, he was there, walking under my hand so i'd pet him, and then arching his back and raising his ass to press it harder against my hand when i pet him. and if you pet his tail he'd roll over and grab his tail and then paw at you. like touching his tail meant it was automatically playtime.

and he bit and pawed and pounced and ambushed people from under furniture. i loved it. we'd coordinate complex attack patterns and execute them on Travis' friends. Cali was the coolest cat evar. sometimes he'd get really excited and go charging around the house like a maniac for no reason whatsoever. you'd just see a stark white flash go by and you knew he was going nuts.

three years.. that's all he got.

that's not enough.

and i feel so selfish for not wanting to give him up because i'm supposed to know he's in a better place but then, how the fuck do i know that?

what could have been better than where he was? what could've been better than me and him? i hate when people say that! when people say he's in a better place! FUCK YOU! you don't know that! he was happy with me! i was happy with HIM! what could be better than unconditional love and companionship? nothing. so fuck that philosophy. i don't care if it sounds selfish. maybe i AM getting too worked up over a pet, but he was a good pet. he was my friend. beleive it or not i don't have many friends, so it was nice to have one that i knew would never turn his back on me, even if he wasn't human. sometimes he seemed more human to me than my human friends.

three years. what kind of cruel thing is it to give someone something that makes them so happy and then take it away.

Mr1337Duck · 2004-09-15, 11:09 PM

I feel for you man. People shouldn't break out the better place stuff. Mourning occurs, and when someone is in that state, and for years later, they don't want their loved one to be in a better place, they want them to be with their owners. Nobody's gonna take offense if that's how you feel.

Triggar · 2004-09-15, 11:10 PM

He sounds like he was a kick ass motherfarker of a cat. He probably isn't somewhere better. He's probably in kitty afterlife, looking around thinking, 'This is the shit they give me for three good years on Earth?'. He's probably got a kitty dirty martini in one hand and a cigar in the other, scanning the place for a cute spayed kitten. No need to be a father at his age.

I'm so sorry oddfish. I hope I never feel what you're going through.

Neon Apocalypse · 2004-09-15, 11:12 PM

im sorry oddfish

i can imagine how cool he was

Mr1337Duck · 2004-09-15, 11:16 PM

I guess what I'm trying to say is:

When a man loses his wife or child, he isn't happy they're in a better place then, he wants them to be alive, back here with him. Pets are no exception, it's not selfish at all to want them to be alive, back with you.

Triggar · 2004-09-15, 11:19 PM

Because that way, you can do everything in your power to insure that they're happy, and taken care of. We don't know what's happening once they leave us.

oddfish · 2004-09-15, 11:32 PM

i just want my friend back. he was so annoying. he'd crawl in bed with me and move around and shift and shuffle and kick and squirm just to piss me off, i swear! and he knew that it drove me nuts to the point where i couldn't ignore him and we'd have to play or go eat, or go cruisin' the beach for hos (he'd sit on my shoulders and then jump down and attack jellyfish and shit. the little bastard helped me get more phone numbers haha..)

when i'd go surfing he'd go with me and he'd chill on the beach by my stuff and attack ghost crabs and ambush lizards. he was more of an outside cat than anything. he was my little white ninja.

i'd come back to the house and there'd be whole rows of dead animals that he'd just gone and killed and brought back like trophies. it always made me think of Predator. my little mass-murderer. Cali was the shit. figures... just take him away.

if i was busy on the computer or writing or something he'd jump on my shoulders and rub around my head and leave white fur all over the place. then the moron'd lose his grip and fall off of my shoulders and cling to my shirt with his claws. when he did that he always tried to make it seem like he'd MEANT to do it. like it was planned. he was alllllll about vanity. i bet he got laid a lot. there's quite a few cats around here. i'm sure the females all experienced Caligula at one point or another. hahahah..

damn. i really miss the little fucker... when i wake up tomorrow i'm gonna wonder where he is, i just know it, and then it's gonna dawn on me again... i don't want to go to sleep... i don't want to wake up without him. this whole summer was great because i spent it in the house with Trav and i got to spend the whole summer with Caligula.. Cali didn't really like anyone else that much.. he and i just seemed to work well together.. i'll never have another cat like him... this is just fucked up and i feel like fucking crying but i can't because i never do and i think if i did i'd probably choke or something but i want to do something so bad and if i don't i know i'm going to start hitting things.