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2006-04-25, 11:11 PM | [Ignore Me] #16 | ||||||
Colonel
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Let's see here....
Good to all or just a few?
And there is a ton of that shit... a TON! Edit: Oh! Here's a better one! Joseph was either a. The first child to be adopted by a gay couple b. The child of a woman who wasn't quite sure who the father was.... so she put both names on the birth ceritificate. I'm willing to be this is a biblical contradiction.
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Last edited by Giovanni; 2006-04-25 at 11:18 PM. |
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2006-04-25, 11:31 PM | [Ignore Me] #17 | ||
Lightbulb Collector
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The Psalms are the works of human authors. Jeremiah was a prophet. He recieved visions and commands directly from God. You can write a psalm about whatever you think God is like. While it is true that God loves us all and wishes us to join him, he's not a suckup. Christians aren't supposed to be "nice", we're supposed to be firm. If God wanted to defend his Chosen People (at the time only the Hebrews) then so be it.
As for the calendar goof, no idea. Both of those verses are out of context, I can't tell. Remember that these scripts are thousands of years old and were never intended to be a history book. Two people are going to see and event and will write two differing stories about it. Hippy v Warmongerer: Again, God decided to punish those persecuting his Chosen People. With Jesus, the whole world became his Chosen People. Exactly why is beyond me. Joseph has two daddies: Not exactly. The Gospels were written a few dozen years after Jesus died, and are four different accounts of the same thing. Giovanni, who was your great-great-great grandfather's name? A number of them do make very "wtf" references. I think Matthew refers to Jesus having brothers...which kind of throws out the idea of the Holy Family of three. However, a lot of references from those times don't make sense in modern days. "Brothers" means his disciples, not blood brothers. For example, the famous saying "It is harder for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Paradise" doesn't mean that tiny hole on the end of a needle. Side city doors back then were rather thin, and a camel had to squeeze his way through. The door was "the eye of the needle".
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2006-04-25, 11:32 PM | [Ignore Me] #18 | ||
Lightbulb Collector
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Look, I don't consider myself to be a religious fanatic by any means. Keep the cynicism directed at the "God hates ****" crowd, not me. I haven't bombed any abortion clinics lately, okay?
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2006-04-26, 04:37 PM | [Ignore Me] #22 | ||
Colonel
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I would rip her ovaries out. See this is what happens when you inbreed with your family. Fuckin psychos, I would like to go join the group going around and forming a barrier between the funeral and protesters, I heard a buncha big guys on bikes would go and make like a wall so they couldnt goto the funeral. Id do that+ with a paintballgun with pepper pellets. See how those religuos freaks like that, they can chant to there god to strike me down if they want. Dont fuck with soldiers, especially when they died so that you can be as crazy as that bitch.
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these are lame |
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2006-04-26, 06:11 PM | [Ignore Me] #23 | ||||||||||
Contributor teh Sexb0t
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But because God***8217;s love through his Son, Jesus Christ, is so generous, some have thought that He could not be the same God as the one spoken of in the Hebrew Scriptures as bringing punishment and judgment. But is the God taught by Jesus so different from the God portrayed in the Hebrew Scriptures? Or is it that people have chosen to see just what they want to see? Doesn***8217;t that well-known scripture, John 3:16, show that if you do not ***8220;exercise faith***8221; in the Son, that one will be ***8220;destroyed***8221;? John also wrote:
Well I was going to discuss more of the things you posted about but I've already wasted 2 hours doing research and writing this. So I'll leave it at this. EDIT: This post was in reply to Giovanni, I'm not sideing with the wacko lady.
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[ Penis removed by Hamma. ] NEVAR FORGET THE SHUNK! (The Shunk Logs.) Violated by ChiaHamma Last edited by Ivan; 2006-04-26 at 06:28 PM. |
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2006-04-27, 05:00 PM | [Ignore Me] #26 | |||||
Contributor teh Sexb0t
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Taking a census was not something against the law. Not long after the exodus from Egypt, God asked Moses to take ***8220;the sum of the sons of Israel as a census of them.***8221; This listed all men who were eligible for military duty, and a head tax was taken for the service of the tabernacle. Many Bible scholars have offered various possible reasons for God***8217;s viewing David***8217;s census taking as a sin. Some have thought that David didn***8217;t collect the head tax as God said should be done when a census is taken. Others have said that he was showing weakness in trying to find out how large his military force was, instead of depending on God for victory no matter what its size. Others say that David might have given in to human pride, wanting to be able to boast over Israel***8217;s importance and glory. We don***8217;t know why David***8217;s census was a sin. What he did was definitely wrong, because the Bible says it was Satan who ***8220;rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel.***8221;
And now this brings us to the main point***8230; God***8217;s prophet Gad was sent to David, giving David, a choice of one of three forms of punishment: a famine for three years, the sword of Israel***8217;s enemies overtaking Israel for three months, or a pestilence for three days. David, leaning on God***8217;s mercy rather than man***8217;s, chose to ***8220;fall into the hand of the LORD***8221;(1Ch 21:13 ) 2 Samuel 24:13 says seven years of famine, 1 Chronicles 21:12 says three. The Greek Septuagint reads ***8220;three***8221; in the Samuel account. One proffered explanation is that the seven years referred to at Second Samuel would be an extension of the three years of famine that came because of the sin of Saul and his house against the Gibeonites. ( 2 Samuel 21:1-2) The current year (the census took 9 months and 20 days) would be the fourth, and three years to come would make seven. Although the difference may have been due to a copyist***8217;s error, it may be said that a full knowledge of all the facts and circumstances should be had before one reaches a conclusion. I you too Giovanni.
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[ Penis removed by Hamma. ] NEVAR FORGET THE SHUNK! (The Shunk Logs.) Violated by ChiaHamma Last edited by Ivan; 2006-04-27 at 05:03 PM. |
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2006-04-27, 07:20 PM | [Ignore Me] #28 | ||
Contributor teh Sexb0t
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In your dreams.
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[ Penis removed by Hamma. ] NEVAR FORGET THE SHUNK! (The Shunk Logs.) Violated by ChiaHamma |
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