I think I screwed up a Mac... - Page 3

Electrofreak · 2004-05-16, 10:58 PM

Originally Posted by UncleDynamite

Originally Posted by Hamma

Mac suck nuts. You will probably have to call out a mac engineer for 400$/hr to do some fancy key combo like APPLE+J+Y+f+BACKSPACE

OMG you guys crack me up!

AztecWarrior · 2004-05-17, 12:50 AM

Originally Posted by Hamma

Mac suck nuts. You will probably have to call out a mac engineer for 400$/hr to do some fancy key combo like APPLE+J+Y+f+BACKSPACE

My Mac experience:

Apples were ok, I though they had a tad less showyness than the PC (Win 95 beats the crap out of Mac OS visually).

Then the iMac came out.

My aunt had an iMac. First of all, it doesn't have enough RAM to display pictures on the internet. Or at least that's my interpretation of my dad's interpretation of what she said, she probably mashed her fingers on the keyboard and hit Occult Clover Leaf + Period + Spacebar + 6 + Number pad 6 + F6 + more random letters, which brought forth Satanic powers which posessed her iMac.

Or something reasonably close to that.

In reality, it seriously cannot handle images on the internet, I don't know if it's the fault of the iMac or that she's running through AOL .0001 Beta. (Actually it's around 6.0). So she asked us to set up the internet on it.

We click on the icon and this dumb-ass presentation begins. It has this retarded flute-like music (some reed instrument) with pictures of colored iMacs in formation on the classic white background and the camera panning and spinning, to make it seem like some sort of witchcraft ritual, or maybe synchronized dance. After a few moments (30 seconds of agony) it switches over to some RETARDED tutorial on what exactly the internet will do for you.

Yes.

It's so user friendly, it TELLS you what the internet is, complete with iMacs dancing to conjure evil...I mean....decorate the presentation.

Al Gore, INVENTOR of the Internet, iis rolling over in his gra...scratch that. He's pissed, and is about to kick Steve Jobs off the Interweb.

So, four options come up. I shit you not, they read (close paraphrasing on the first and second ones

1. I already have an AOL account.
2. I'll set up an AOL account.
3. I'm not ready for the Internet.
4. Tell me more about the Internet.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE INTERNET? I'M not READY for the INTERNET?

I forget what happened next. I think maybe we decided to close the retarded presentation and get to work, but we had to go through it again. We begin again with the dancing iMacs, and try to skip through it by hitting our beloved Windows key combinations.

The "Superior Windows User" scanner detects us and WE HAVE AN ERROR. WINDOWS ME IS MORE RELIABLE THAN MAC OS. At this point we go into desperation and actually hit Ctrl-Alt-Del and Alt-Tab, to no effect, of course, because we didn't know that to PROPERLY get the thing to work we had to hit Occult Clover Leaf-Period-Spacebar-6-F6-Num6, then sprinkle a virgin's blood over the monitor.

I think we restarted, shut it off, and told my aunt to get over it.

Another time, my brother turned it on like we told him not to. The thing tries to turn on, he goes crazy, and does something to it, which I didn't see. The computer goes into a coma. The monitor displays nothing, no keys work, but it's on. I think I had to either hit the I/O switch, pull out the cable, turn off the power strip, or some other brute-force way of cutting power to turn it off.

Apple is the devil.

Electrofreak · 2004-05-17, 12:49 PM

Last week, I came home to find an iMac sitting on my doorstep (at least I think it was an iMac, had that LCD screen sticking out of a wierd bulbous base). I didn't order it, (god no!) so I really had no clue what to do with it. The address label was smuged beyond recognition, I could make out the latter part of my street name but that was it. I assumed it was supposed to be shipped to some guy on my street. Anyhow, I drag it out to the curb and stick a piece of paper to it saying "mailed to wrong address" for the mail people to pick up. Then this truck pulls into my driveway, and some guy tells me that he had been expecting it, had called the post office and they had told him that it was delivered here by accident. I'm like OK, whatever man, and he loads it into his truck.

Right then, I had to resist the TERRIBLE impulse building inside of me to blurt out "Why did you buy that piece of crap anyways?!" but I didn't. It was rather amusing, it all came in one box with all these pretty pictures on the side of it showing off the ugly-ass thing. That guy better hope that Apple put a LOT of packaging in there 'cause the box was smudged, torn, wet and misshapen! Looks like the damn thing went through a jungle or two during shipping.

Anyhow, I don't know why in hell anyone would buy those damn things... and I really wanted to tell that guy that he had just made a stupid decision by getting that Mac... but I guess he'll figure that out on his own...