Holy shit im shy.

[Triggar]

I was shy for years. YEARS. When I was little, I used to go completely beet red whenever someone talked to me. I used to freak out wondering if they were wondering what I was thinking. It used to really freak me out.

I know how you feel. I wasn't born an extrovert. I still don't consider myself one now, I just don't care either way.

[ChewyLSB]

Here's the thing though - I don't mind being an introvert. I really don't want to get into a high school relationship, since I know it won't last beyond high school, so I figured there's really no point in becoming an extrovert for now. I mean, I still have friends, and I'm fine with the friends I have now.

[Bighoss]

Okay here is the shallow solution...If you have overall confidence in yourself then you won't be shy. In order to be confident you must do away with your insecurities. If your insecurities are physical and fixable then fix them. Have bad acne? Take care of it, overweight? Take care of it, Gross teeth? take care of it. The less you have to worry about somone physically judging you the more outgoing you can be in a conversation. Some people are just naturally confident, it's one of this things you have or don't. If you don't just improve yourself. Isolate a flaw of your's and fix it. One less thing to worry about.

[Darksim]

YEa, well im not that shy, I dont go red when I tlak to people, I tlak to alot of people all time. Eh, I guess im semi-shiy. I have seen shyer. (or shier or shyir?)

[Ivan]

There are several reasons I think I have a hard time talking to people.

First, I was always shy in the sense as I�m not comfortable with my physical appearance, and I �think too much� into things as stated before. I think about what I�m going to say, and then I think about what their reply would be, then my reply and so forth. By the time I�ve talked myself out of even starting the conversation.

I usually have to be pulled into conversations. It takes me a while to warm up to people with the few exceptions. My friend�s current girlfriend is one expectation. For some reason I was comfortable talking with her the first time I met her. My friend was the one who pointed it out to me. I didn�t even notice.

But the second reason for my shyness would probably be the death of several loved ones in a relatively short period of time. I�ve grown sick of talking to people after that cause I can just see and feel the uncomfortableness in them while talking to me. I don�t blame them really. It makes me uncomfortable too.

I think if anything at all; all the deaths have made me a bitter person really. Because now, I could care less if you want to just make small talk with me and tell me how bad your day was. And I could care less to tell you how my day was because I know it don�t really have an effect on your life nor does your day have an effect on mine. So why even talk about it?

I guess what I mean if that didn�t come out as clear as I want it to is, I know you don�t really care about my life cause I don�t really care about yours. So I have nothing good to talk about. Thus I feel it�s better not to say anything at all.

I have nothing interesting to talk about if I don�t know you all that well. And that�s my problem with warming up to people.

[_-Gunslinger-_]

Originally Posted by Ivan

There are several reasons I think I have a hard time talking to people.

First, I was always shy in the sense as I�m not comfortable with my physical appearance, and I �think too much� into things as stated before. I think about what I�m going to say, and then I think about what their reply would be, then my reply and so forth. By the time I�ve talked myself out of even starting the conversation.

I usually have to be pulled into conversations. It takes me a while to warm up to people with the few exceptions. My friend�s current girlfriend is one expectation. For some reason I was comfortable talking with her the first time I met her. My friend was the one who pointed it out to me. I didn�t even notice.

But the second reason for my shyness would probably be the death of several loved ones in a relatively short period of time. I�ve grown sick of talking to people after that cause I can just see and feel the uncomfortableness in them while talking to me. I don�t blame them really. It makes me uncomfortable too.

I think if anything at all; all the deaths have made me a bitter person really. Because now, I could care less if you want to just make small talk with me and tell me how bad your day was. And I could care less to tell you how my day was because I know it don�t really have an effect on your life nor does your day have an effect on mine. So why even talk about it?

I guess what I mean if that didn�t come out as clear as I want it to is, I know you don�t really care about my life cause I don�t really care about yours. So I have nothing good to talk about. Thus I feel it�s better not to say anything at all.

I have nothing interesting to talk about if I don�t know you all that well. And that�s my problem with warming up to people.

What a dreadful outlook on life. In response to your last statement, "I have nothign interesting...", How are you going to find out what to talk to that person about if you wont make conversation with them? Also I believe you have a commitment issue, probably because of the velocity of deaths in your family. When you talk to someone and learn about them, and they learn about you, there is a mutual investment. You both have taken time to learn something about the other person, and now you have grown closer. From what I read, you dont really want to invest in someone else and thus they have very little opportunity to invest in you.

We all view the world through ourselves, when we try to figure out what someone else is thinking or fealing we project what we would think or feal if we were in thier situation. I would recomend not trying to guess and simply ask them what they think or feal about whatever. This builds the "relationship" and you will know what they are thinking or fealing. Also this builds trust, what we think or feal is one of the last private things we have in our lives. Its the only place where we can almost 100% gaurantee that no one will know anything about, if we dont want them too. So in order to give someone access to our opinions takes a level of trust, depending on what there person asks, the more trust is needed. Almost like a faction gain in an mmo lol.

[Everay]

eh, since were all talking about ourselves, me, im content not really know any kids at my school, only time i open my mouth in my A+ class is to say something factual, at least, that is unless im asked a question about myself, otherwise i dont open my mouth, not because im afraid to, but because i dont care to.

Ivan, while your outlook is that of a realist, you gotta agree with me, that sometimes you gotta talk for the fuck of it.

[Wraithlord]

I think my "shyness" stems more from the fact that whenever I actually engage in conversation with someone I somehow end up making them look stupid/inept/ridiculous or making myself look like a/n asshole/elitist/psycotic

[Angel_of_Death]

I don't really think there is any solution to sto being shy, save alcohol, and it won't always be there. Just be yourself if people don't like you for that nothing you can do.

I'm an extrovert. I find it real easy to start conversations with anyone really, and I'm not afraid to voice my opinion or my feelings for someone. It's hardwired in to you, nothing you can do to change it really.

[Infernus]

Originally Posted by Derfud

I am shy most of the time, especially around someone I am attracted to.

This is me too really...

I'm shy around a person I'm attracted to, extremely... I just lose what I'm going to say and just go blank.

Around my friends, I'm the complete opposite - I have a lot of friends, I am the major social creature when it comes to my 'inner circle'.

Most of the time though, I'd be completely content to not talk at all, shadowy and ponderous for teh win.

EDIT: And most of the time it would seem people are content not talking to me... so its not really shyness, its salutory neglect.

[Baneblade]

I used to be shy, then I realised I'm just an asshole.

[Ivan]

Originally Posted by Everay

eh, since were all talking about ourselves, me, im content not really know any kids at my school, only time i open my mouth in my A+ class is to say something factual, at least, that is unless im asked a question about myself, otherwise i dont open my mouth, not because im afraid to, but because i dont care to.

Ivan, while your outlook is that of a realist, you gotta agree with me, that sometimes you gotta talk for the fuck of it.

I really didn't have a bad time in school cause, well being with the same poeple day after day for years was long enough time to warm up to them.

Like I said in another similer thread a little while ago, I was friends with almost all if not all the hotties in school, just was ended up being too close of a friend to ask any of them out.

But know that I've been out of school for a few years I just have a small close few friends still around.

[internetn]

Originally Posted by Ivan

I have nothing interesting to talk about if I don�t know you all that well.

Well usually if I have nothing interesting to talk about... I make up totaly far fetched storys, its so damn funny!

And another thing, one way to overcome shyness, is to be able to laugh at yourself... If you make alot of mistakes, learn how to play them off, don't get red in the face dont get angry, laugh for god's sake... Oh and learn how to make speeches... I love making speeches, and that really kill shyness... specialy when the appluad you.. I do them in ROTC alot... Becuase Im the leader!... (Kinda have to when you got the... uh less fortunate... or peeps from the ghetto that think ROTC means.. Rest Openly in The Class)

[Ivan]

Originally Posted by internetn

Well usually if I have nothing interesting to talk about... I make up totaly far fetched storys, its so damn funny!

And another thing, one way to overcome shyness, is to be able to laugh at yourself... If you make alot of mistakes, learn how to play them off, don't get red in the face dont get angry, laugh for god's sake... Oh and learn how to make speeches... I love making speeches, and that really kill shyness... specialy when the appluad you.. I do them in ROTC alot... Becuase Im the leader!... (Kinda have to when you got the... uh less fortunate... or peeps from the ghetto that think ROTC means.. Rest Openly in The Class)

I don't like to make up stories because I know guys who do that and then they get caught up in them and don't just admit that they were lieing.

With my friends I'm able to laugh at myself but with someone I don't know I try not to cause I don't want to seem corny. Or trying to be funny for attention.

I do make speeches. About once a month or two in front of about anywhere from 40 to 60 people. I feel like I'm going to puke every time I do it. The hardest part of speeches for me is not the speech it's self, it's walking up to the stage and podium and then walking away. Don't know why. Maybe because my mind is so set on the speech it self during the speech that I'm not thinking what people might be thinking about me then.

[internetn]

Originally Posted by Ivan

I don't like to make up stories because I know guys who do that and then they get caught up in them and don't just admit that they were lieing.

Well they know I'm making up the story's, thats whats so damn funny... I am always uneasy, its just, If you believe that you are good, or that you could do good, then why do you need to be shy about the matter... Focus and smile, to important things... Some people think your cocky if you smile before or after speeches, but thats better than looking like you've done a bad job..

PS: Why do you got to talk in front of so many people so often?

PS,PS: You could always try the adolf way to make a speech, start low and quiet... Then grad get louder.. till eventually you break out in a sweat and are yelling, that whips the crowd up in a frenzy!