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2003-09-14, 09:48 AM | [Ignore Me] #63 | ||
First Sergeant
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You yell "jackhammer" when your compeating for the front seat of the car.
You wake up one day wondering where you are? "I dont remember matrixing here." You step up to the basin and press G, to get changed into something less revealing.. "Must have been a special mission last night to be still dressed in my Infil gear". You pull your scatter and walk up to the door... "Damn enemy facility" You then proceed to fumble looking for your rek... "Wrong layout.. typical" so you grab the door handle and turn "So thats how it works!" You step out into the light, look up and see one sun, and no planets.. "I must really be a long way from home!" You take a quick look at the flora of the area "Man this must be causing alot of lag, and try switching off the flora.. "darn keyboards playing up.." you walk up to the road and see a friendly sund, you wave it down, hop in and send a local "where we headed".. the driver asks you for some money "Money? what? your space crazy, its no the 20th century anymore you know!" you then get this itching feeling that its a Terran bus disguised as a friendly, you quickly ALT-G (that was close) and shake your head "Blasted TR think they can oppress us with thier talks of money!" You start walking in what you think is the general direction to a friendly warpgate, you check your map, but it doesnt seem to work "Darn keyboard again! I knew I should have changed the batterys, that will teach me for buying a cordless!" You start to wish that you hadnt traded your surge implant for adv regen, I mean what were you thinking... About 20 mins later, and still no sign of any friendlys "I must be on Oshur!" you get the great idea... /o"Hey anyone around"..........."Damn, why did I have to wake up soo early.." Typical that your outfit buddies would sleep in on a day like this.. when the TR are creeping around, and who knows what the Vanu are up to! Wishing more and more that you had your rek with you, you start to daydream, only to walk right into an enemy AMS. "The Vanu must be trying a new camouflage look" you state, looking at the AMS with the words "Eat at Joe's" painted above the spawn point. All of a sudden a person appears at the tubes, he yells "Want anything?" of course you do! a REK would be great, you pull out Jackhammer (dont leave home without it) and let it rip... the Vanu scum drops, as they always do!, you run up to the corpse.. it doesnt dissapear, so you decide to add a few macros "That the best you can do?" typical, he want to stay and not let me loot his backpack" You then notice out of the corner of your eye, a backpack (must have been from a previous enemy) you snigger at the dead vanu, who in vain attempt to stop you looting his corpse still hasnt hit the respawn button, and you search the backpack. Finding what you belive to be a Vanu REK, as well as a Vanu beamer (Though it does say MagLight on the side) you head off again. Not too soon after that, you see an enemy marauder, laughing at the stupidity that a TR would just leave it there out in the open... on a road none the less! you pull out your REK and try to jack it.. after about 5 mins of trying to find a spot around the marauder that will accept your hack (a bit like trying to resurect someone.. not another bug!) you decide to use the REK slightly differently, launching it thru the window of the marauder, and then opening the door from the inside.. "Ahh a leaver.. only the TR would be so stupid!" Travelling at a much faster pace now, covering ground to the suspected Warpgate is alot quicker, though because of your keyboards battery, you cant access the T view... You see up ahead what you think to be the Warpgate, though it has a sign above it saying "Ice Skatting Rink" you push the pedal to the metal and head to the centre of the warpgate. *Everything goes black... must be the new patch.. the loading screen is gone. You awake, battered and bruised, you notice your in a room with med terminals "must be back at sanc.. I think the Warpgate must have made me crash, and had to relog on" You look around and see your outfit buddies, family? and what seems to be men in uniform, high ranking CR? they identify themselves as police officers, and ask you if you can answer a few questions, something about a MDK, stealing a RV and crashing it into a public building? You look confused and pass out... "Whohaa long day, think ill log off now and get some rest!"
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Never mess with a Gal pilot on PMS New Sig! did you make it on the sig? The second one he was in his skeeter Last edited by Intruder; 2003-09-14 at 09:53 AM. |
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2003-09-14, 11:36 AM | [Ignore Me] #64 | ||
First Lieutenant
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u think that food is overrated.
u think a social life is food. u think that if u kill yourself for the insurance money u can just respawn in your bathtub. u think the tolet is a adv med term. u think school is really the biggest zerg ever.(i know i do) u think that the movie matrix is a docamentry of real life. u would never buy a jeep cause u think its a maruder. u wake up 1 day and walk to the eq term*closet*. u put on a inflatration suit*really tight spandex* u get a med applicator*bottle of placibo, neosporin, and a bandaid* and rek*book* in your suit and go 2 your locker*drawer*. u pull out a beamer*flashlight* and 2 boxes of engery*50 batterys* u go 2 the vechical term *garage* and get an ant*ant*. u wonder why this ant wont move so u decide 2 deconstruct it and get another 1, but u cant find the vechical pane so u wait3 mins and get another ant*your moms minivan*u look for the 3rd person vew but u cant find it so u drive it 2 the nearest wg*mcdonalds* where u see smoe people in ants getting ntu's*chesseburgers* u drive up 2 the window, and open your trunk. u cant find the ntu meter so u just guess when its done. while your waiting u hear the person there calling someone saying*there is this guy just standing here scarring people* u guess he is a tr and is calling for reinforcments, and bail, for the nearest friendly base*walmart*.on your way there u see them coming after u. u wonder why there vechicals arent red and black, just black and white. u think they are using stealth vechicals so u get going faster. u park the ant at the ntu silo*lightpole* of the base and turn on cloak by slaping your ass in front of little childern. u run in to the mangers office and he says *hi, may i hel... hey u need 2 change little children can see your balls.* u tell him that the tr are after u and that he needs 2 hide in here. during this time he looks at u weird and u reliaze he is really a tr calling for reinforments. u pull out your beamer grab him around the neck and point the beamer at his head just as the tr*police* come in. u say dont move or he gets it. then the manger kicks u in the balls and knock u out. next thing u know your in a enmy med room with 10 trs outside your room then a hot nurse 1 comes in and u say *quick help me escape and itll be worth your while*winking* she calls in securtay and they hold u down as she get out what looks like 2 u as a anal probe and sticks it in your ass, your knocked out instantly. the end *srry for spelling error* |
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2003-09-14, 01:53 PM | [Ignore Me] #65 | ||
First Sergeant
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They do say that impersonation is the biggest compliment......
Though.... could I suggest paragraphs please... *my eyes!!! And if your writng a short story, try to avoid using shotenings of words like "u". Other than that, not bad though I dont think you need to hint on every *simile* give the readers some credit for intelligence Might as well add another few (Back to topic) You start answering the phone with This is Alpha 1 reporting in, Roger! You start pressing your TS key during other games... even worse while your sitting at your PC speaking to people IRL. You start up a character of the opposite sex so you can watch thier ass when your running. You jump in your car and wonder why your in hospital for going over that cliff.. but the Marauder can do it!
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Never mess with a Gal pilot on PMS New Sig! did you make it on the sig? The second one he was in his skeeter |
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2003-09-14, 02:38 PM | [Ignore Me] #66 | ||
First Sergeant
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You've played too much PS when....
-As posted earlier, You say "roger" in real-life. (I'm guilty) -You lock yourself into your closet waiting to deconstruct. -Instead of answering yes, you respond "Affirmative" - You ask your boss which way point is next target. -You hate going swimming because your "weapons won't fire" -You refuse to take a bath because your worried about your oxygen level. -Constantly thinking of different configs for your certs while not even playing. -You strafe instead of just turning. -You run everywhere. -Tell your girlfriend/boyfriend that your going solo for the night. -Jump in front of vehicles thinking they will stop because they dont want the grief. -When paying the electric bill you tell people your making an ANT run. -You consider the PS $13 a month fee a priority bill. -You think in acronyms to yourself. (Wtf? STFU n00b!) |
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2003-09-14, 02:42 PM | [Ignore Me] #67 | |||
First Sergeant
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Classic!!!!!
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Never mess with a Gal pilot on PMS New Sig! did you make it on the sig? The second one he was in his skeeter |
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2003-09-14, 03:41 PM | [Ignore Me] #70 | |||
First Sergeant
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You know you have been playing PS too much when you dont understand constructive criticism and end up being incoherent Back to topic: (can anyone see Im bored at work ) You go over to a friends house to stay over, and you pack PS in your bag...just incase You log onto the TS server, even when your not playing, so you can keep up with the daily events You spend all your time at work on pages such as PSU guilty as charged
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Never mess with a Gal pilot on PMS New Sig! did you make it on the sig? The second one he was in his skeeter |
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2003-09-14, 04:28 PM | [Ignore Me] #71 | ||
Major
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You know you been playing too much when you make a vangaurd soapbox derby car.
You know you been playing too much when you grab a chainsaw and try to put it in a holser. You know you been playing too much when you put sticks on your legs, a garbage can around your upper torso, and some toiletpaper rolls on the ends of your arms. You know you been playing too much when you try to walk very slowly underwater but instead you just float up to the surface. And finally, You know you been playing too much when you flip to PBS and start watching barney. |
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2003-09-15, 02:19 AM | [Ignore Me] #72 | |||
Lieutenant Colonel
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2003-09-15, 05:58 AM | [Ignore Me] #73 | ||
Staff Sergeant
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When your on a plane, flying over a large building, you have a sudden urge to open the door and jump out.
When you get to your front door, you feel compeled to whip out a REK to open the door. You get in your shower cubical in the morning and hit G to go back to bed.
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2003-09-15, 02:32 PM | [Ignore Me] #74 | ||
Corporal
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You've played PlanetSide too much when you:
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Bookmarks |
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