Things to do in an elevator...

[Squeeky]

Things To Do In An Elevator


1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them
on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,
and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the
wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they
know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your saiting for a friend. After
a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day
been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then
scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on,
ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to
play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask
them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay,
don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hig!"and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "I have new socks on".

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"

[�io]

[BLuE_ZeRO]

wtf?

[Mopo]

27) Mansech as though you were in #manlove.

[Guardian AngeL]

HAHA! thats great... gotta try those

[Hamma]

[Tobias]

* Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your
head.
* Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
* Shave.
* When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by
themselves.
* Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm
handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
* On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft
go "plink" at the bottom.
* Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
* When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
"Oh, I hate... motion sickness!"
* Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your
nose.
* Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say
"oops!"
* Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
* Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce
* Leave a box between the doors.
* Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
* If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad
touch!"
* While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide
it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
* Start a sing-along.
Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave.

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.


Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

One word: Flatulence!

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

18) Do Tai Chi exercises.

Give religious tracts to each passenger.

Meow occasionally.

Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

Leave a box between the doors.

Play the harmonica.

Say "Ding!" at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

Announce to the person stood next to you "I really need the toilet. Can I use your bag?"

Ask the other passengers "Wouldn't be great if this lift were to plumment to the floor, what do you think will happen?"

Petend to get your leg stuck in the door as it closes

Without letting anyone see, press the emergency stop button. Act surprised and start talking to yourself "its ok, it wasnt your fault you killed your family. It was SATAN, damm you SATAN! DAMN YOU!!!" Then press the stop button again and act as if nothing has happened.

Scratch yourself excessively saying "fucking headlice. They're all over me. I knew I shouldn't have played with that dog so much"

Set out a pinic set on the floor and suggest to the other passengers to join you in afternoon tea

Break wind and blame it on the person next to you

Pretend your are a repair man here to fix the lift. Wait untill its busy and tell everyone to get out of the lift. You get in, get your paper out and sit and relax

Start to talk about your sexlife. Tell them that all of your three children were concived in this very lift. And point and say "it was up against that wall"

Have sex with your imaginary friend

Say you have just won the lottery and you are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you

As the lift descends, shout "Bombs away!"

Offer to polish their shoes. When they say no, tell them you need the money to feed your ten starving children back home in Estonia

Hand out leaflets - "what to do when the lift cable breaks. The ten tips that will keep your body in one pice (although these tips will not save your life, it will make the rescue a bit cleaner, and we wont have to spend ages cleaning the blood of the walls) Hope you will live to do it again!"

Perform a striptease

Act surprised when it starts to move and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!"

Fake an orgasam when the lift starts to move. Announce that it was your best ever

Let your mobile phone ring - dont anwser it.

Walk in to the lift with a clear bottle of apple juice. Start drinking and say "ah, theres nothing like your own urine to quench your first. Does anyone want some?"

Say "this new g-sring is really starting to hurt." Then attempt to adjust it.

Walk into the lift and say "this reminds me of being burried alive. Ah those were the days"

Suggest to the other passengers that you all should play a game of twister. Then get out the board and lie it on the floor

Paint the walls of the lift.

On entering, ask the passengers if they want to be your friend. Burst into tears if they say no.

Stop the lift and say "twenty years in prison for murdering the whole family, and I get stuck in a lift after being out for two hours. Just my luck!"

Get back to nature - go in naked

Pretend to be the pilot of the lift, speach into a headset "this is lift number 1, ready for decent to 1st floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over"

Announce in a computer like voice "this lift will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 .....oh heres my floor"

Serve tea and coffee

Take shoes off before entering, Look shocked and disgusted when the others dont

Act like the sergent of the lift. Order people around. Tell them to get in line.

Suggest to the other people that your should play musical statues. Bring a tape recorder along too

Teach the people french. Dont let them leave till they get it right

As you are coming to the end of the journey, get enmotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

Insist, the lift ride costs �2.50

Describe in detail, how you're "hung like a horse"

Pretend to be a flight attendant (particularly affective if you are dressed like one), instruct the passengers on what to do in an emergency

Yodel

Bring out a magnifying glass, closey inspect the other passengers skin and say "ooh, look at your pores"

Sing "I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get, get, get on your nerves" Over and over again.

Ask the others "Do you mind if I do my eminem impression?", then bring out a chainsaw and a mask.

Try breakdancing

Bring out a fake toy gun and shout to the person next to you "you lookin' at me?"

Challenge the guy stood next to you to a "thumb war".

Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall.

Force people to read to Kama Sutra while asking "do you wanna try this one?"

Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "it is time..."

Pretend to see a spider, repeatedly and violently stamp on the floor while screaming "Die you bastard, die DIIEEE!"


Explain to the passengers that this lift looks the same as the ones on all the other floors.

Re-enact scenes from a movie where someone climbs out through the roof.

Tell people their clothes are stuck in the lift door, when the look round and see it isn't, apologise, then 5 seconds later say it again in exactly the same tone of voice.

Strip naked and ask if 'your' (not my) bum looks big in this dress.

Release cockroaches and rats or doves.

Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

Point a fire extinguisher at the door as it opens and a passenger tries to enter, ready, aim, and bend the nozzle round and cover yourself with foam.

[Civilian]

lmfao! Those are great

[Nohimn]

squeeky knows what he is talking about, and I have the restraining order to prove it
#303

[Doobz]

u forgot to start hygenically cleansing them, the monkey way.

Moo like a cow constantly.

Milk an invisible cow.

Try to sell a hobo.

Hop around them and hiss like snake.

Scream that the stoned squirrels have taken over and are coming to get you.

so on and so forth

[Toimu]

The one that I've done before is,

When the elevator is full, stand in the middle and in front, then turn around and face everyone. They will move away and not look at you.

[Nohimn]

if you fart in a crouded elevator.... always look at the person to your right

[Guardian AngeL]

my life goal is to do each one of those and have a hidden camera some how