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Old 2002-11-29, 09:33 AM   [Ignore Me] #1
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Triumvirate Part 5 Comments

http://www.planetside-universe.com/a...p?articleId=20

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Old 2002-11-29, 09:52 AM   [Ignore Me] #2
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my feelings can best be summed up as such, .
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Old 2002-11-29, 10:43 AM   [Ignore Me] #3
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/me make mental note never to cut in line in front of Hamma!

Excellent read as always Manitou!!
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Old 2002-11-29, 11:12 AM   [Ignore Me] #4
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Old 2002-11-29, 01:05 PM   [Ignore Me] #5
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darn this is some very nice story. S!
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Old 2002-11-29, 09:12 PM   [Ignore Me] #6
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It didn't connect to the rest of the storyline in the least, and created a perfect character that never makes mistakes. This perfection is to the point of it being extreamly unrealistic.

Hamma just seems too L337

It lacked a transision to the present time from the flashback it entered.

I'm still waiting for something to be writen from the NC perspective.

Note:This is just my opinion, and my atempt at constructive critisism. Any Flames will be ignored.
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Old 2002-11-29, 09:43 PM   [Ignore Me] #7
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There are going to be a ton of installments until game release. Give it time
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Old 2002-11-29, 10:04 PM   [Ignore Me] #8
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Hamma, Kaikou, TheShift, Enigma and the three other pilot trainees were all very nervous, but still confident they would do well.
hahaha i love that part

�This is Mosquito 12 to tower, over,� Hamma said on the com-link.
and all that stuff too, nice touch
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Old 2002-11-30, 01:39 AM   [Ignore Me] #9
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Talking How can I become a part of Triumvirate

This is a great piece of writing and I hope to see much, much more. I don't want to offend you, but I consider myself to be a very good writer. Planetside looks like it would be extremely fun to write about, and I want to be a part of it. If it would be possible to write some sort of companion to the pilot stories I'd be extremely happy. Maybe a story about the MAX support teams, or Guerilla Snipers of the Terran Republic, or even the story of a frontline grunt. I think just about anything from this game would be an exciting story. Just please think about it before you turn me down, please.
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Old 2002-11-30, 10:56 AM   [Ignore Me] #10
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Excellent work, as always.

But if you wanted creative criticism, then what SandTrout said.
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Old 2002-11-30, 01:00 PM   [Ignore Me] #11
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I really do listen to the criticism guys! It gives me a perspective I don't have; the ability to see it objectively!

Trust me, I listen to every piece of info and you will see me apply the ideas as I go! This is a work in progress, and I an having a blast doing it!!

Thanks all, for the nice comments and help!!
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Old 2002-12-01, 07:34 PM   [Ignore Me] #12
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i would write a planet side story, but it would not be half as cool as yours, it would just be the Vanu killing TR and TR.....no plot.
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Old 2002-12-02, 01:18 PM   [Ignore Me] #13
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Nice work Manitou. I have finally caught up on them all. Keep up the good work
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Old 2003-03-18, 06:01 PM   [Ignore Me] #14
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Great job, looking forward to some more stories from ya!
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Old 2003-03-18, 07:17 PM   [Ignore Me] #15
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ok, from now on, lets not bump three month old threads, ok IggyWattson?
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