Go Khaki's!!

[Squeeky]

Popular Science -- Dockers recently came out with a new brand of pants, the Go Khakis, which promise to keep your legs stain-free using revolutionary nanotechnology.

We couldn't help thinking that Dockers might be using the word "nanotechnology" more for marketing muscle than for true scientific purposes, so we called its customer service line to ask a few pointed questions. Here's a slice of the conversation.

Dockers: How can I help you today?

Popular Science: I just bought a pair of the Go Khakis, and I noticed it says they use something called nanotechnology for stain resistance. Can you please explain how that works?

D: Umm, it's, uh, DuPont Teflon coating, and basically what we're asking you to do is not to use powdered detergent and press them after every fifth wash, and dry cleaning is an option also. And do not use fabric softener, because it can interfere with that stain-defending property.

PS: Great, but can you explain what makes this nanotechnology rather than just a coating? What is nanotechnology?

D: One moment please. Did you get the pleated or flat-front?

PS: Flat-front.

D: OK, one moment please. Because the one that says nanotechnology is the versatile pant that wicks moisture away from you.

PS: It says nanotechnology repels stains.

D: OK, one moment please. Can you give me a style number off that?

PS: Sorry, I don't have it with me. But it was a "stain defender," and I believe it said "Go Khaki."

D: And that was the flat-front one.

PS: I believe so.

D: OK, I believe it does say nanotechnology because it's the 60-cotton, 40-micropoly blend.

PS: So that's where the nanotechnology comes in?

D: Uh-huh.

PS: I still don't understand. Are there microscopic machines repelling the stain? How does it work?

D: Umm . . . I guess it's the type of fabric that makes it the nano.

PS: So the "nano" has more to do with the size of the fibers? And water is small enough to get through for washing, but other liquids are not�they bead up and roll off?

D: You know, I'm really not sure, but I do know they'll come clean. My kid has a pair of these. Messy kid. So I got the shirt and pants, and he's doing great with them. You just need to remember to press after every fifth wash.

PS: But would you say the stain defender was the Teflon coating or the size of the fibers?

D: It's a Teflon finish on the pants.

PS: So is nanotechnology affecting the stain resistance?

D: I would say not. I need to help other customers, ma'am. Can I ask how you got the number to call us today?

PS: 1-800-DOCKERS? Lucky guess.


Owned


Here is another one

Powered by the air you breathe," OxiClean promises to "remove your stains like magic." Sure, it works�quite well, in fact. But we couldn't help thinking that the commercial's description of how OxiClean removes stains is unhelpful at best, misleading at worst. Does the cleaner somehow use air, the atmosphere, to remove stains? Seems unlikely. But what else could the very specific tag line mean? After we dwelled in ignorance for the better part of the infomercial, a ray of hope appeared on screen: a 1-800 number, instructing viewers to call with any questions about the product. Well, we had some questions, and hoped the OxiClean folks could sort them out for us. Here's a transcript of what followed.

OXICLEAN: Thank you for calling Orange Glow. How can I help you?

Popular Science: I came across the OxiClean infomercial last night and had some questions. The commercial said that OxiClean is "powered by the air you breathe." Can you explain what that means?

O: Ummmm, oxygen. It's an oxygenated stain lifter so it adds oxygen to the stain and most stains are, they have oxygen in, you know, it's an oxygen-based stain. Meaning it's natural ... based from the planet ... somehow. Ummmm, and that's how it adds oxygen and releases the stain.

PS: Is it sucking oxygen from the air?

O: Well, no. We just breathe oxygen and the cleaning is activated by water and releases oxygen. So that's what that's pertaining to.

PS: OK, then how's the oxygen, which doesn't come from the air, being used to combat the stain?

O: It's adding oxygen to the stain thus releasing it because most stains are oxygen-based.

PS: I see. So what percentage of the stain remover is oxygen?

O: Well, it's not really like that. It's actually hydrogen peroxide and baking soda, basically, and they create oxygen.

PS: So it's hydrogen peroxide and baking soda mixed together.

O: Right, but we can't really call it that.

PS: So why not buy hydrogen peroxide instead?

O: Because this is a patented formula. You're not just going to dump hydrogen peroxide on your clothes, are you? It's not like that. This is different. I mean, we're not scientists here so I can't disclose a patented formula, but I can send more information on the stain remover.

http://www.popsci.com/popsci/hometec...492242,00.html

[Robot]

those have been out for, like, months, now

i mean, they're pretty good, but they feel more grainy.

[ultraviolet]

You are flat-front baking soda.