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Old 2004-04-15, 11:13 PM   [Ignore Me] #16
Spee
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Originally Posted by I Hate Pants

No ****** Dungeon Master being a stupid fuck.

I'm the Dm, you jerk
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Old 2004-04-15, 11:27 PM   [Ignore Me] #17
I Hate Pants
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Well when I tried it with my friend's. The dungeon master would always put us in the worst situations.

Im walking across a narrow rope bridge in extremly heavy armour with nothing but a giant mace (Mace's rule!)

* UUUUUUUUUH OH! 6 archer orcs heard you crossing the bridge and are now opening fire on you. You cant use your melee' attacks till you cross. What will you do????*

* Uh, I dunno, lemme think about that one ass wipe!*

*5 secs up! I rolled 3 sixes! Your dead! The bridge snaps under your wieght! Your body falls limplistly to the bottom of the pit. Your body is unretrievable.*
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Old 2004-04-15, 11:29 PM   [Ignore Me] #18
AztecWarrior
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Originally Posted by I Hate Pants
Well when I tried it with my friend's. The dungeon master would always put us in the worst situations.

Im walking across a narrow rope bridge in extremly heavy armour with nothing but a giant mace (Mace's rule!)

* UUUUUUUUUH OH! 6 archer orcs heard you crossing the bridge and are now opening fire on you. You cant use your melee' attacks till you cross. What will you do????*

* Uh, I dunno, lemme think about that one ass wipe!*

*5 secs up! I rolled 3 sixes! Your dead! The bridge snaps under your wieght! Your body falls limplistly to the bottom of the pit. Your body is unretrievable.*
What? You people don't bring high-caliber weapons to DnD matches?

"Sorry, you died. Your body is unretrievable because I'm an asshole DM."

BLAM!

"MY LEG!"
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2004-04-15, 11:38 PM   [Ignore Me] #19
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Well, I'm goign to be a jerk DM, but only if the players are being assholes.


Rogue guy: I rape/murder/pillage the entire town.


DM/Me: The woman you tried to rape has horrible teeth in her vagina. You suffer incredible blood loss and perish.


The actual campaign SHOULDNT have any deaths...Until the last few areas, in which Im making it as tough as humanly possible.
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Old 2004-04-15, 11:39 PM   [Ignore Me] #20
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Originally Posted by Spee
Well, I'm goign to be a jerk DM, but only if the players are being assholes.


Rogue guy: I rape/murder/pillage the entire town.


DM/Me: The woman you tried to rape has horrible teeth in her vagina. You suffer incredible blood loss and perish.
Never played DnD (observed it once and know a bit about it), but I think that will work.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2004-04-16, 12:01 AM   [Ignore Me] #21
I Hate Pants
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Originally Posted by Spee
Well, I'm goign to be a jerk DM, but only if the players are being assholes.


Rogue guy: I rape/murder/pillage the entire town.


DM/Me: The woman you tried to rape has horrible teeth in her vagina. You suffer incredible blood loss and perish.
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Old 2004-04-16, 12:09 AM   [Ignore Me] #22
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Hm, I should try my hand at being a Dungeon Master...

DM: "You see a cave."
Warrior: "I enter the cave."
DM: "You walk in, sensing that you're not alone."
Warrior: "I light a torch."
DM: "You see the bane of darkness, a Dharkbayne."
Warrior: "I attack the Dharkbayne."
DM: *rolls dice* "A hit! You delete his Notepad, eliciting foul language and sending him fleeing in humiliation."
Warrior: "Sweet."
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Old 2004-04-16, 12:34 AM   [Ignore Me] #23
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DnD is awesome. If you can get a group of good friends together I guarantee you won't regret playing it.

Spend the time to make a good campaign. I spent 3 months designing a campaign to DM before starting up the game (played by my fiance, her brother, and 2 of her friends). They can't get enough of it.
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Old 2004-04-16, 12:58 AM   [Ignore Me] #24
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Originally Posted by UncleDynamite
Hm, I should try my hand at being a Dungeon Master...

DM: "You see a cave."
Warrior: "I enter the cave."
DM: "You walk in, sensing that you're not alone."
Warrior: "I light a torch."
DM: "You see the bane of darkness, a Dharkbayne."
Warrior: "I attack the Dharkbayne."
DM: *rolls dice* "A hit! You delete his Notepad, eliciting foul language and sending him fleeing in humiliation."
Warrior: "Sweet."
die.
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Old 2004-04-16, 04:08 AM   [Ignore Me] #25
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when he's not around, and his wallet is, -- well, you get the picture.
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Old 2004-04-16, 11:11 AM   [Ignore Me] #26
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I can't believe your dad actually said those things! Maybe it's just my father, but I don't know any adults that act as immature as that. Did he really say what you typed, or was it more of an exaggeration? Either way he's being a pigheaded ignorant fool.
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Old 2004-04-16, 11:16 AM   [Ignore Me] #27
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Originally Posted by Lilbird2431
I can't believe your dad actually said those things! Maybe it's just my father, but I don't know any adults that act as immature as that. Did he really say what you typed, or was it more of an exaggeration? Either way he's being a pigheaded ignorant fool.
More or less, those are straight-on, word-for-word texts of the conversation. I may have missed something here and there, but thats what it was.
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Old 2004-04-16, 11:17 AM   [Ignore Me] #28
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Dungeowned and Dragowned.
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[Hezzy]: "balallaalalla! blow the heathens up with a large nuclear device"
[Hezzy]: "BOOM"
[Hezzy]: gg
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Old 2004-04-16, 02:22 PM   [Ignore Me] #29
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you'll thank your dad in a few years.
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Old 2004-04-16, 02:27 PM   [Ignore Me] #30
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Get "caught" having sex with a man...
OWNED
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