Top Idiots Of 2002

[WickedDeus]

TOP IDIOTS OF 2002

Number One Idiot of 2002

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiots of 2002

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2002

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his
note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the
note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he
left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number four Idiot of 2002

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking
about)

Edit: I kinda like this idea though....

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Five Idiot of 2002

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21." The
robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license
out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The
robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called
the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off
the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign!

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2002

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he
probably figured it out himself.

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2002

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on
the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was
made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, thats
smart.

Give him his sign.

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Eight of 2002

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.

Sign please.



Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and
breed).

Scary, isn't it?!

[Mr1337Duck]

I have one:
These 3 guys entered a gun store with knives and announced that it was a robbery. They were forced to leave, however, when an employee grabbed the gun that had been left for store defense and shot at them.

Line up, boys.

[Squick]

"Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away."

Woot... I am working in Ann Arbor, Michigan as we speak... You wouldn't happen to have any more info as to which Burger King it is do you?

Squick

[firecrackerNC]

HEY!! Where am I?

[Khronos]

i think this might have been posted b4, but hey...its so funny that its np at all.

@ idiot 7.

[Onizuka]

All those are great

now lets jump to 2003 and give one of those signs to daemon32.

[1024]

i love this kinda stuff.