Memoirs of a Lost Soldier

[Crowley]

All my life is now. All my life will be.

Never ends. It'll never end.

I've tried. I've tried many times, but I still can't stop it.

Any attempt to have, lead to yet another split-second head-splitting headache.

Even worse when it's anywhere else. When it's slow. When there's pain.

If marching into that gate meant this. I don't think I would've done it.

It seemed so good. Immortality. To die and come back as though it never happened.

It's a damned game to them. When will they learn?

When death is no longer on the line, you fear nothing. Everyone is stubborn.

No one wants to be wrong and will kill everyone else until he is.

And then they will come back to return the favor.

To say it doesn't matter in the end, here, is wrong. There is no end.

I don't want to think anymore.

Before. Long ago. I could just end it. Just as simple as putting the gun to your head and squeeze the trigger.

But not anymore. The darkness then the sudden bright light. No man should go through this. Going AWOL doesn't matter anymore. It's all over. Everyone is mad.

Including me.

But are they crazier? Or am I?

I could just walk. Walk and walk until I die yet again. Heatstroke. De-hydration. Starvation.

All worse ways to go.

I'd rather face those fates, than this one.

That's what this war is missing. Finality.

No. To call it a war would give it meaning. A war has a victor.

This is mindless.

But as I see friends run past. I see those same faces. They are not the same person when we came here. They are empty. Hollow.

Robots churned out to be slaughtered to be reconstructed and slaughtered again.

Those in orbit. Do they know about this? Are they even still up there?

Did they see our actions and fly in a random direction to find a better planet?

Maybe the wormhole opened and they left, knowing that we could never return home in this condition.

If we do end up going home, and die. Will we be brought back here?

I shudder at the thought.

Let's just hope we don't.

I hope we don't.

---

So yeah. First post, first short story, done while waiting for Source Filmmaker to install. Hope you all enjoy it.

[XxAxMayxX]

That was awsome the idea of infinate life in planetside ruins some of the usual themes, war is hell as many war fiction involves. But you have made it seam just as emotional even though no one can die.

[Anatrax]

Indeed, quite a nice little thing you've made. Keep it up!