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2003-06-11, 12:23 PM
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[Ignore Me] #1 | ||
Facial-mungus fun with rising sons
It could only happen in Japan. Yes the land of the rising sun has once more demonstrated its inventiveness, imagination and famed artistry in coming up with a new and exciting new concept, by marrying traditional karaoke and modern bukkake in a truly breath taking blend of skill and balance. Bukkakeoke has combined the popular arts of karaoke with bukkake and the chance to win big cash prizes into what many believe will be the ultimate in popular television entertainment after the 9pm watershed. Devised by Kenji Akinabono the man who put the viciousness in to Japanese quiz shows such as Ouchi, Fracturo and Prease Stop, so beloved at home and abroad, the hit show Battling Bukkakeoke Babes has risen to the top of the ratings in just three short months, ousting Pig Fucking Fanatics which has consistently garnered the most press attention for the past three seasons. "It�s a simple concept that combines seemingly contradictory concepts in a show that at once entertains and provokes a reaction. In fact, the much vaunted sword and chrysanthemum parallel, which is often used to describe Japanese culture, accurately captures what is unpleasant with that which is exciting," Akinabono told our FLog-On reporter. Like all great television ideas, such as The News or Survivor, simplicity is the key to understanding the show�s unfettered success. In Bukkakeoke contestants compete for the chance to win a car, cash or the grand prize of a 500 square foot apartment in Tokyo�s swanky Rupongi district, worth an estimated Y450,000,000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, a tidy sum for anyone, but especially now that Tokyo has been partially destroyed by a recent battle between Meka-zilla and Muffra. Those competing for the prizes must pass through a series of progressively more difficult rounds which tax their brains and muscles in equal proportion. Contestants then get the chance to defend their titles on the next week�s show, with the opportunity to win ever bigger and more extravagant prizes that won�t even fit in their apartments, or bow out with the winnings they have accumulated. "By degrading our contestants we actually liberate them from the constraints placed upon them by society at large which require us all to conform to the system, joining a company for life, commuting up to four hours everyday and repaying a mortgage for 25 years," Akinabona continued. "By making people realize the price they pay in cum guzzling humiliation we in fact free them from material objects and re-inventualize them as a more rounded individualizated individual," continued the Berkeley educated Akinabona. '' Outwit, out play and out guzzle was my motto '' The game starts easily enough with six ladies taking it in turns to sing one song in front of the studio audience, applause from the audience is measured on a "clap-o-meter" and the race is off. In round two the girls have to tackle the assault course, running the gauntlet between specially selected male members of the public who have to try and spatter the contestants with as much cum as they can from raised walkways above the course. Round three is general knowledge and it�s here that brains are pumped to the limit. Round four is evening wear, with the young ladies walking around the studio in lovely designer dresses, made especially for each show by Kenjii Cumabloblo, the lovely dress designer. Then it�s another physical round with the girls pitted against a series of bucket wielding opponents in great big sumo suits. The girls have the disadvantage in that they�re tied down, spread eagle, but they show their spunk as their tiny little bodies strain against the biting restraints, in a vain attempt to beat off their attackers. By this stage the field has been whittled down to the final four who go head-to-head in the last two rounds, the feared Dry-Clean-Only, wherein the girls have to try and stop as much cum as then can from being shot past them into a big vat, where it is collected and measured. The two girls who have blocked the most man fat go through to the final round, the all you can drink buffet, a round that probably couldn�t have come from any one else�s mind than Akinabona. Long rumoured to be involved with the Yakuza and shady right wing politicians who insist Japan didn�t do anything more than speak roughly to its neighbours during its colonial period, Akinabona has managed to sign an exclusive cum-collection system from Tokyo�s three main prisons and the 26,700 men incarcerated for various evil crimes. Each week over three gallons of jism is squeezed out of Japanese cons and delivered by refrigerated truck, with armed police escort and motorcycle outriders to the NKK Studios for the big flow down. Once at the studio the rope is divided between the two finalists and the girl who can choke down the most in three minutes is the winner. Mimi Tapyaki winner of the last "Splatter Royale" said "I was lucky, my opponent, who played with honour and spirit, had eaten before the show and I�d only had milk to line my stomach. Outwit, out play and out guzzle was my motto." The series has had some negative press a scandal nearly erupted when it was revealed cum in the third show was in fact horse semen, with a result that only the live studio saw that episode and it was never aired, although underground tapes of this show are readily available over the internet. Controversy is likely to surround Battling Bukkakeoke Babes for some time, however we feel the show will run and run and run, with Outback a Gay Bukkakeoke show is planned for the autumn. Whatever the outcome it is unlikely the furour is going to die down soon. Contact your cable operator for details � now, or satisfy your raging curiosity with a film or two, available at all good stockists today.  I'm scared... 
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2003-06-11, 12:49 PM
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[Ignore Me] #6 | |||
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Lieutenant General
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2003-06-11, 01:27 PM
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[Ignore Me] #8 | ||
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Corporal
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I think the japanese government has actually cracked down on some of the more sadistic game shows in the last couple of years. This one doesn't really sound real.
You know, I was watching one game show (can't remember if it was japanese or european - who have some weird game shows to) where it was basically a quiz format with the contestant answering questions. The twist was, the contestants car was right there in the studio under one of those car smashers. If they lost.....CRUNCH! 
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