best story iv hered yet (From Allied Tribal Forces

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the best story about PS i have herd yet is from Allied Tribal Forces ill try and post it here section by section i did not make it the smart ppl at allied tribal forces post what you think of it or if im not saposto post something like this

VANU LABS

Edit:Author, gamerguru

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first section and i dont know way my name is on it it is like that on there website
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Two men wearing labcoats stood at a table. The room was brightly lit and throbbed with alien energy. The Vanu insignia adorned everything.
"Behold," said the taller of the two scientists. "My creation. I shall call it the Beamer."

"A marvelous gun, Dr. flyboy6. Have you tested it?"

"Not yet, Dr. Limmy. Shall we give it a test run?"

"You do the honors, doctor."

Dr. flyboy6 picked the weapon up and tested its weight. He smiled, running his hand down the weapon. A truly marvelous creation, a wonder of-

BZOW!

"Ow!"

"Oh my god! Dr. Limmy, are you alright?" Dr. flyboy6 dropped the weapon to the table and rushed to his fallen collegue.

Dr. Limmy sat up in Dr. flyboy6's arms, a confused look on his face. "You... shot me..."

"I didn't mean to! The trigger slipped, I-"

"I actually don't feel that bad."

Dr. flyboy6 hesitated. "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean... I feel ok." Dr. Limmy rubbed his chest. "Actually... I think I just got the wind knocked out of me."

"But I shot you!" shouted Dr. flyboy6, who was beginning to feel that something horribly wrong had taken place.

"I know. Isn't this wierd?" The two doctors stood, and Dr. Limmy picked the weapon up. Before Dr. flyboy6 could stop him, Limmy put the weapon to his head and pulled the trigger.

BZOW!

"Actually, it feels kinda tingly."

"Stop that."

"Its like a neat massage toy."

BZOW! BZOW! BZOW!

"Whoo!"

Dr. flyboy6 snatches the weapon from Dr. Limmy. "Give me that! This is a... highly dangerous tool of war!"

"Is there a reason why you didn't make your weapon lethal, Dr. flyboy6?"

"Well, I had to tone down the damage a bit. You know, to fit in the AP mode."

"The AP mode? Why would it need that?"

Dr. flyboy6 smiled, holding the weapon higher. "Why, to make it reasonable against vehicles, of course."

"Last I checked, Dr. flyboy6, the Terran Republic were not driving bigwheels."

"I hate you, Dr. Limmy."




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Dr. Limmy descended the steps to Dr. flyboy6's lab, holding the envelope in his hand. Upon entering, he spotted Dr. flyboy6 leaning over a table, both hands planted on the surface. His head was bowed low and he wasn't moving, creating the perfect image of the brooding scientist.

"Ahem."

"Yes?" asked Dr. flyboy6, not looking up.

"Just wanted to let you know the beamer has been released to all Vanu soldiers."

"How wonderful."

"And we got a letter from the Terran Republic and the New Conglamorate. Says, 'About your beamer' on the envelope. I haven't opened it yet. Shall I do the honors?"

"You may."

Dr. Limmy tore the envelope open and took the peice of paper out. He unfolded it and read it out loud.

"Hm. It just says 'Thank you'... and hey!" He fished in the envelope and pulled out another paper. "Five bucks! Well, isn't that nice?"

"Yes... how nice of them."

Dr. Limmy frowned at Dr. flyboy6's back. "Dr. flyboy6, you seem rather subdued today."

"Dr. Limmy, have you ever had that feeling? That you have used science to some horrible end and unleashed a horror onto the world?"

"Oh, all the time."

"Dr. Limmy, I have unleashed a horrible thing this day. And while I take solace from the knowledge that it will be used for good... I cannot help but feel responsible for the deaths it will bring."

Dr. Limmy nodded. "Hopefully the deaths will be to the enemy, of course."

"Laugh all you want, Dr. Limmy. But you won't be laughing when you see... THIS!" He spun around, holding a strange weapon high in the air. "Do you see? Vanu and human technology fused into one in perfect lethal harmony! This, Dr. Limmy, is the key to our victory, and the death knell for the empires that oppose us!"

Dr. Limmy pursed his lips. "Ooh. Spiffy."

"Dr. Limmy, I give to you the honor of testing it. Go on... take it. Fear not its latent power."

Dr. Limmy took the offered weapon, holding it in his arms, testing its weight. "Never tested it before?"

"Never once. But I know, now, that my work is finished. No weapon can surpass this."

"What are you going to call it?"

Dr. flyboy6 stood tall and stuck out his chest. "The PULSAR."

"Ooh. Good name. Hey, is Steve around?"

"He was here earlier."

Dr. Limmy took a deep breath and called, "Hey! Steve! You around?"

A voice from the next room said, "Right here, Doc."

"Steve, come on in here. I need your, uh, assistance."

Labratory Assistant Steve wandered into the room, wiping axle grease on his overalls. "Yeah, doc?"

"Steve, when was the last time you bonded yourself to a matrix panel?" Dr. Limmy asked, looking at the weapon with the utmost innosence.

"Why, just this morning, in fact. Can't be too careful, right? Ha ha."

"Ha ha," aggreed Dr. Limmy. "Well put. Can you do me another favor?"

"Sure, doc, anything."

"Hold still."

BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-!

"AAAAGH!"

Steve hit the floor. And Dr. Limmy nodded his approval. "Very effective, Dr. flyboy6. I believe you may have finally-"

"eeuguhgughguhghghg......."

Dr. Limmy froze, and walked over to Steve. Dr. flyboy6 followed, looking concerned. Steve lay in a pile on the floor, but still alive.

"Doc... that... hurt quite a bit..."

"Oh, come on, steve. At least cooperate."

BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-!

"There, that oughta-"

"Eugh....."

"EAT LEAD STEVE!"

Dr. flyboy6 lifted a finger. "Actually, its feuled with energy canis-"

"Shut up!"

BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-*click*...zoomp, ca-chunk...BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-!

The lab was filled with silence then. Dr. Limmy stepped forward and prodded Steve with his foot. Nothing. They both breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, it sure took some doing, but your gun DID kill Steve. Good job."

"Thank you, Dr. Limmy."

"Although the damage output left a little to be des-"

"u........ugh......"

"SWEET MOTHER OF MONKEY SWEETNESS!"

Dr. Limmy threw the gun down and snatched the newly developed Vanu knife of the shelf, clicking it on. And then he stopped, and looked at Dr. flyboy6.

"Dr. flyboy6?"

"Yes, Dr. Limmy?"

"ugh....h....h....help...."

"Dr. flyboy6, can you explain to me the reason why you designed the knife to glow?"

"Ah yes. I see you noticed. It glows, yes... glows with POWER!"

Dr. Limmy's blank stare forced Dr. flyboy6 to fill the silence.

"Maybe you didn't hear me. Glows... with... POWER!"

Dr. Limmy got so angry he shook. But with force of will he calmed down, turned to Steve, and said, "Say hello to the spawn tubes for me, Steve."

"h.........hello......."

ZHOOMPH!

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secound section post your comments
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Dr. flyboy6 held the Pulsar in his hands. It felt cool, the metal slightly below room temperature. He ran his hand over the top and down the side. His creation. His legacy.

The door to the lab opened and Dr. Limmy stepped through.

"Hello, Dr. flyboy6. Isn't it a nice day outs-"

BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW-BZOW!

Calmly, Dr. flyboy6 set the Pulsar down on the table. With a small spring in his step, he left the labs, walked down the hall, and enterd the spawn room. Steve was already there, working on a matrix panel.

Leaning against the wall, Dr. flyboy6 said, "Good morning Steve."

"Good morning, Dr. flyboy6," Steve replied, straining as he cranked the wrench.

"How's the wife?"

"Died again this morning. Some jerk in a Reaver."

Dr. flyboy6 nodded. "Bet she wasn't too happy."

"Nope."

There was a bit of silence, punctuated finally by the hiss of the spawn door opening. Dr. Limmy stumbled out of it, blinking blearily around the room.

"What do you think of the new Pulsar, Dr. Limmy?"

Dr. Limmy ran a hand through his hair, coughing. "Ow."

"That was the idea," smiled Dr. flyboy6, walking with Limmy back to the lab. "Sorry about being so crass about it, but I thought you'd appreciate the demonstration."

"I did, Dr. flyboy6. I think you'll enjoy mine much better."

"Oh? What's that?"

"You'll see... eventually."

They entered the labs and Dr, flyboy6 put the pulsar back into the locker. "What were you going to say before I shot you, Dr Limmy?"

Dr. Limmy snapped his fingers. "Oh! Thats right. The high command announced theres a new assault buggy."

Dr. flyboy6 spun around, shocked. "They... they scrapped my idea?"

"Well, no, they didn't. They just hired a different scientist to design it."

Dr. flyboy6 sat down, looking at the floor. "Well... I suppose I can't be the only scientist in the Vanu sovereingty, can I?"

"Of course not, Dr. flyboy6. There are plenty of people just as incompetent, ready for the job."

"I'm in no mood for jokes, Dr. Limmy."

"Right... a joke. Thats what that was."

The days past. Dr. flyboy6, in his sorrow from being ousted from designing the Thresher, decreased the AI max's AP mode out of spite, but hardly anyone seemed to notice. Finally, on Thursday...

"Dr. flyboy6," said Dr. Limmy, coming into the lab to find Dr. flyboy6 tinkering with the Beamer. "The scientist designing the Thresher is coming down in a few moments to discuss your design."

Dr. flyboy6's eyes lit up, and he stopped decreasing thw damage for the Beamer for a bit. "You're serious? Coming here to ask my advice?"

Dr. Limmy folded his arms, smiling. "That seems to be the basic jist of it, yes."

The door opened and in stepped a man in a white labcoat. Maybe around middle-aged, with glasses and greying hair, the man was the picture-perfect scientist.

"Dr. flyboy6, meet Dr. N00bkillah69. Dr. N00bkillah69, Dr. flyboy6, the Vanu head development scientist," said Dr. Limmy.

"Charmed," said Dr. flyboy6, shaking his hand.

"HEY MOOPFCAE WAZUP D00D?" asked Dr. N00bkillah69.

Dr. flyboy6 took a sudden step back. "Excuse me?"

"LOL I SED WASSUP? I HERD LOTZ ABOT J00"

Dr. flyboy6 simply stared, and leaned closer to Dr. Limmy. "Why is he talking like that?" he whispered.

Dr. Limmy couldn't stop staring himself. "I don't know," he replied.

"ROFLMAO ANY WAY I WAZ WONDRING ABOT YR DESGIN FOR DA THRESH." Said Dr. N00bkillah69, taking out a clipboard and pointing to some figures. "YU GOT ALL CRAZY WITH TEH SPECS YO!!1!1 DIS THING AINT GOT NO ARMRO!1!!"

Dr. flyboy6 moved his lips, sounding out the words. "Ohh... no armor. Yes, well, see, that would make it too heavy and the hoverjets wouldn't work..."

"OMFG! I NEVR THOT OF THAT! ROFLMAO"

"Someone make him stop talking," said Dr. Limmy weakly.

"AND DA GUN SUXXORS D00D!1 IT SH00TS REEL SLOW AND STUFF! #%*@#$&!!1!11!"

Dr. flyboy6 desperately tried to keep up. "Well, see, the gun needs to-"

"I MEEN THE THRESH TAKES DMG FROM THE V TERM, D00D!!1!!1 DIS @&%$ IS WACK YO!"

"Steve?" said Dr. Limmy, taking a few more steps back.

"Heyo!" said Steve, poking his head in.

"I MEEN DA MARADER HAS THRE GUNNERZ!!1! LOLOLOL!!1!1"

Dr. flyboy6 simply stood as if in a trance. Dr. Limmy pointed at Dr. N00bkillah69. "Steve, kill this man."

"Righto."

Like a wild animal, Steve pounced on the good doctor and beat him senseless with a wrench. When the ghastly deed was done, Dr. Limmy approached Dr. flyboy6 and gave him a shake.

"Its all over, Dr. flyboy6."

Dr. flyboy6 was still standing there, eyes glazed over, a small device clutched in his hand. Dr. Limmy waved his hands in front of Dr. flyboy6's...uh... face, but got no reaction.

"Well, this is odd. Just a moment ago he was-"

Dr. flyboy6 suddenly lurched forward, stumbled, and got his balance back. Dr. Limmy rushed to him and held him steady. "Doctor!"

Dr. flyboy6 waved Dr. Limmy off. "Dr. Limmy, it works! It really works!"

"What does, Dr. flyboy6? Why were you in a coma?

"I'll tell you why! This!" Dr. flyboy6 held a small square device above his head. "Dr. Limmy, I give you... the Lethal Death device! Or... the LD, for short!"

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It was a sunny day on the Vanu Sanctuary, and Dr. flyboy6 was spending it outside, putting the final touches on the Vanu's newest armored assault vehicle, the formidable Magrider. Steve was with him, poking at various obligatory machine parts with some sort of mysterious alien tool.

"Make sure you co-alabrate the drive-shift nanite stabalizers, Steve," said Dr. flyboy6.

"Sure thing, Doc," said Steve, ignoring him as he continued to pretend to work.

Dr. Limmy approached them then, holding a glass of lemonade in his hand. "Good morning, Dr. flyboy6. Working on such a beautiful day?"

"Dr. Limmy, if our brave and noble soldiers can fight to the death on a day like today, I feel it is my duty to at least spend some of it aiding their valiant struggle."

"Mm-hmm," said Dr. Limmy, taking a sip of the lemonade. Um, that is, the TECHNO-LEMONADE, which has been infused with ancient Vanu technology, making it a bit tangier than the other empire's barbarian lemonade.

"I was just putting the final touches on it," said Dr. flyboy6, tapping the purple side of the tank, making a hollow clang noise. "I was wondering what you thought. Your imput is always useful."

"And," said Dr. Limmy, "since you employ your devices anyway, I can only assume my advice is purely a novelty."

"Dr. Limmy, you shock me. Come, have a look at it. Tell me I have not created the pinnacle of deathmachines."

Dr. Limmy walked around the side of the tank, to the back, and looked under it. Dr. Limmy nodded to Steve and at the impressive hovering ability, because if its one thing the Vanu love, its stuff that floats.

"I see you gave it hover jets," said Dr. Limmy, making conversation.

"Yes, I figured it would add a certain something to it. The ability to strafe, cross water..."

"Look amazingly cool..."

Dr. flyboy6 chuckled. "Yes, that too."

As Limmy rounded the front to have a look at the advance gun, his head collided with something very hard and very metal.

Bong! "Ow! What the-"

"Ooh, watch it, Dr. Limmy," warned Dr. flyboy6, coming around to the front, taking a few steps to avoid something that didn't seem to be there. "You ran right into the plow."

Rubbing his head, Dr. Limmy looked blearily at Dr. flyboy6. Why was there always SOMETHING? "Plow, Dr. flyboy6?"

"Well, yes. I thought it would make a good edition to the tank."

"Dr. flyboy6, thats not like you. How... devious."

Nodding proudly, Dr. flyboy6 ran his hand over the invisible plow. He clicked something, and the plow shimmered into view. It was a sinister thing, covered with various spikes and sharp edges, and the spikes were oozing a strange liquid material. "Yes, I thought it would be very handy on Esmair and Cyssor. You know, with all that snow."

Dr. Limmy hesitated, his smile wavering. "Snow?"

"Well, sure. What else would you use the plow for?"

"But... why'd you make it invisible?"

Dr. flyboy6 folded his arms over his chest. "Why, so the pilot could see."

"And... the spikes?"

"For trees or other soft debris in the way. Don't want the hover jets getting damaged by fallen lumber."

Dr. Limmy stared at him like he was mad. "But... but... whats this stuff coming out of the spikes?"

"Oh, that? Snake venom mixed with corrosive acid."

In the small silence that followed, Steve's tinkering and a bird singing could be heard.

"Acid. And snake venom."

"Yup. Mixed, of course."

Dr. Limmy threw up his hands. "Ok, I can't wait. Why those?"

"Well, we had quite a bit of it in boxes and we weren't using it so I figured, hey, I bet this stuff will melt snow and burn through the lumber quick, why not?"

Dr. Limmy looked at the plow, then back to Dr. flyboy6, then back to the plow. It looked like someone took a plow, grabbed a saw, and then put the saw back down and took the plow into the very bowels of Hell, wher Lucifer worked night and day to create the ultimate destroyer of man. In a bad mood.

"Snow."

"Oh, absolutely. Snow can really slow these things dow-"

"Dr. flyboy6, doesn't it occur to you that the drivers will use the plow to just run people over?"

Dr. flyboy6 laughed. "Yeah, right. 'Run them over'. you're a real class act, Dr. Limmy."

"Dr. flyboy6, you gave it spikes with acid and venom and made it invisible! On the fastest tank in the world! And you think they're going to believe for a second that its for SNOW?"

"Well, of course. What driver in his right mind would use it for anything else? You've got some odd thoughts in your head, Dr. Limmy."

"Dr. flyboy6, you are an abso-" Dr. Limmy trailed off, glanced at the plow, and then back to the doctor. "...solutely correct person. You're right. What was I thinking? No driver would just run people over. you're right. I'm going to... um... go... over there and... do... that thing... I said I was going to do... which is not at all related with what we're talking about. At all."

"Ok. Have fun, Dr. Limmy."

"Yeah. Fun. Yeah."

Many hours later, in the Hart shuttle building, a few Vanu soldiers were huddles around the bullitine board. On it was a sheet of paper that read:

"NEW TANK UNVEILED!

The Vanu sovereignty has a new weapon in our struggle for technological superiority. Please attend the seminar regarding the Magrider and its effect on your fighting.

Also, be sure to attend Dr. Limmy's seminar, 'The Ramrider: Why guns are for sissies' directly afterwards."


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Dr. Limmy entered the Lab so see Dr. flyboy6 diligently polishing off the new Lasher. It didn't LOOK all that different, but Dr. flyboy6 had promised a sweeping change, and Dr. Limmy was understandably excited to hear it.

"So, Dr. flyboy6, how's the new gun?"

"Dr. Limmy, I have outdone even myself. the troops asked, and thus, I have given them."

"Excellent, do tell."

Dr. flyboy6 waved a finger. "Oh, no. You're a bright man, Dr. Limmy. I'm willing to bet you can guess."

Dr. Limmy had a seat, rubbing his chin. "Alright, lets see... the troops were asking for... hmm... oh! Faster orbs!"

Dr. flyboy6 shook his head, and Dr. Limmy sunk a little. "A bit too much to ask, I suppose."

"You can't expect RAW, UNTAMED POWER to travel too fast, can you?"

"When you show me raw, untamed power, I'll believe it. Ok, lets see... more damage? That one seems obvious."

"Nope, try again."

"Bigger clip?"

"Nope."

"... better lashing?"

"Sorry, the flux translationer isn't meant for that kind of tweaking."

Dr. Limmy threw up his arms. "Alright! I give up. What, in all your wisdom, Dr. flyboy6, have you done to our Lasher?"

"A higher rate of fire!"

Silence permeated the room. Dr. Limmy got up and walked calmly over to Dr. flyboy6, who stood, grinning proudly. Dr. Limmy looked at the lasher, and gently took it from Dr. flyboy6's hands. He studied it, ran his hand down it, tested the weight, and nodded approvingly.

And then he beamed Dr. flyboy6 over the head with it.

"Well, it makes a good kudgel..."

[gonnagetyou]

Yea, I read this one awhile back and it had me laughing out loud.

[kreeten]

No offense intended, but man, u have way too much time on your hands!

[gonnagetyou]

Me or the writer?

If it's me, then nah, I just read fast. I've enjoyed books all my life and appreciate a good story.

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i think the magrider should have an invisable plow with spikes ozing snake venom and acid it would be cool and if where the fastest tank

[gonnagetyou]

And how do you know the magrider doesn't have an invisable plow with spikes ozing snake venom and acid? Perhaps that's really why it's so effective. Come on, it's invisible!

[00AgentDuck]

That story was awesome! Loved every minute of it . And the sad thing is that most of what it said, like the lasher being a good kudgel, is all true. I give it 2 thumbs up !

Edit: saw your edit, so gamerguru wrote it then?

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it was a guy from the OF fourm that made it thats what it sead on Allied TribalForces chec out there website

[Happy lil Elf]

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[Squeeky]

Fan Fiction

PSU Has a forum for this, for future reference

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sorry didnt see it and i dont now way i put it in dussgustion and not fan fiction


/trys to think and figures it is to much work

[SandTrout]

Yeah, but noone ever goes there.

Fucking hillarious BTW. Paticularly the beamer part.