Ww2 4 1337

Infernus · 2004-01-26, 01:32 PM

�7:42PM� <Waxx> "WWII for the 1337"

�7:42PM� <Waxx> Hitler is talking to these people

�7:42PM� <Waxx> and he's like

�7:43PM� <Waxx> "ph34r, i r 1337"

�7:43PM� <Waxx> and they are all like, "omgz k"

�7:43PM� <Waxx> thus, hitler rises to power in germany

�7:43PM� <Waxx> now

�7:43PM� <Waxx> the british and french are like "wtf"

�7:43PM� <Waxx> so they talk to him

�7:43PM� <Waxx> and they're like "d00d wtf r u doing"

�7:43PM� <Waxx> now

�7:44PM� <Waxx> well

�7:44PM� <Waxx> we'll skip in the middle

�7:44PM� <Waxx> September 1st, 1939

�7:44PM� <Waxx> Hitler invades poland

�7:44PM� <Waxx> the polish are like "omg wtf"

�7:44PM� <Waxx> and the germans are like "ph34r"

�7:44PM� <Waxx> polish are like "wtf no"

�7:44PM� <Waxx> and then the germans pwn them all

�7:44PM� <Waxx> poland falls to the germans

�7:45PM� <Waxx> next they march through belgium to go around the maginot line

�7:45PM� <Waxx> the french thought they were 1337 with that maginot line, but they
were just n00bs

�7:45PM� <Waxx> anyhow

�7:45PM� <Waxx> with hitler marching through neutral belgium, the british are
like "omg wtf"

�7:45PM� <Waxx> eventually, hitler gets through poland and attacks france,
bypassing the maginot line

�7:45PM� <Waxx> the french are like "omg h4x"

�7:46PM� <Waxx> and the germans are, again, like "ph34r"

�7:46PM� <Waxx> France falls

�7:46PM� <Waxx> Britain now becomes involved in active combat against the germans

�7:46PM� <Waxx> now, there are about 300,000 british and french soldiers on the
beaches of dunkirk

�7:47PM� <Waxx> and the germans are coming, they're all like "omgz pwn"

�7:47PM� <Waxx> and winston churchill says "n00bs, no"

�7:47PM� <Waxx> then all the british begin h4xing

�7:47PM� <Waxx> most of those 300,000 men are rescued and pwn another day

�7:47PM� <Waxx> things quiet down for a bit

�7:48PM� <Waxx> anyway

�7:48PM� <Waxx> things are quiet until hitler decides he'd like to invade russia

�7:48PM� <Waxx> so, he does

�7:48PM� <Waxx> the russians are like "OMG WTF D00DZ, STOP TKING"

�7:48PM� <Waxx> and the germans are still like "omg ph34r n00bz"

�7:48PM� <Waxx> the russians fall back, all the way to moscow

�7:48PM� <Waxx> and then they all begin h4xing, which brings on the russian winter

�7:49PM� <Waxx> the germans are like "wtf, h4x"

�7:49PM� <Waxx> now, the russians are like "omgz pwn"

�7:49PM� <Waxx> and so, the russians begin pushing the germans out of the soviet
union

�7:49PM� <Waxx> so there you have it in europe

�7:49PM� <Waxx> but what's happening in the pacific?

�7:50PM� <Waxx> now

�7:50PM� <Waxx> japanese relations with the US had been deteriorating

�7:50PM� <Waxx> in fact, the japanese bought scrap metal off us up until a few days
before pearl harbor

�7:50PM� <Waxx> the US was just like "omgz k"

�7:51PM� <Waxx> and the **** were like "thx"

�7:51PM� <Waxx> suddenly, on december 7th, the japanese attack pearl harbor,
hawaii

�7:51PM� <Waxx> the americans are like "WTF"

�7:51PM� <Waxx> and the japanese, like their german allies, are all "omgz ph34r"

�7:51PM� <Waxx> seeing as the US had not developed proper h4x yet, they were
unable to repel the onslaught

�7:52PM� <Waxx> roosevelt orders immediate h4xing, and war is declared upon the empire of japan

�7:52PM� <Waxx> the japanese were very 1337

�7:52PM� <Waxx> they really knew how to h4x0rz

�7:53PM� <Waxx> so the us suffered a string of defeats

�7:53PM� <Waxx> until an obscure island known as midway becomes a very pivotal
point on the map

�7:53PM� <Waxx> the japanese sent out a 1337 battle fleet to take and occupy
midway

�7:54PM� <Waxx> the americans, now becoming fluent in their h4xing abilities, managed to h4x the japanese code

�7:54PM� <Waxx> and learned of the plot

�7:54PM� <Waxx> so they sent out some h4xing vessels...er..i mean aircraft carriers, destroyers, and one or two submarines to deal with the japanese threat

�7:54PM� <Waxx> the japanese began their attack on midway

�7:55PM� <Waxx> they immediately were like "WTF are these planez0rz and shipz0rz doing here?"

�7:55PM� <Waxx> the americans are now like "omgz pwn"

�7:55PM� <Waxx> they now had the h4x with them, and sunkz0rz four front line japanese aircraft carriers, a major defeat for the japanese

�7:56PM� <Waxx> from this point on, the japanese would be playing a defensive
battle for the rest of the war

�7:56PM� <Waxx> now, back to europe

�7:56PM� <Waxx> the year is now 1944

�7:56PM� <Waxx> the US 8th air force has been pwning the german industry by the
air for some time now

�7:56PM� <Waxx> the british have been pwning them at night

�7:57PM� <Waxx> eisenhower the 1337 feels that it is time to stage the attack on
fortress europe

�7:57PM� <Waxx> and thus, on june 6, 1944, operation overlord commenced

�7:58PM� <Waxx> the germans were like "wtf r they doing here", because we had
h4xed them into believing the landing sites would be at calaise, far from the actual
landing zones

�7:58PM� <Waxx> still, they put up a very 1337 fight

�7:58PM� <Waxx> rommel had wanted to use his 1337 panzer divisions to drive the
allies into the sea

�7:58PM� <Waxx> but hitler was like "Wtf n00b, no, stfu"

�7:59PM� <Waxx> because of this, the allies were able to establish a beachhead and
begin landing their massive amounts of war materiel

�7:59PM� <Waxx> after the beaches, facing the allies were many large bushes called
bocage

�7:59PM� <Waxx> crisscrossing the french countryside

�8:00PM� <Waxx> the germans camped in them, waiting to pwn anyone who dared to go through

�8:00PM� <Waxx> this posed a severe problem for the allies

�8:00PM� <Waxx> some ingenious engineers, however, devised a contraption that, when fitted to the hull of a tank, could cut through the dense bocage

�8:01PM� <Waxx> when the germans first encountered vehicles with these contraptions, they were like "omgz wtf, h4x0rz"

�8:01PM� <Waxx> the americans were like "omgz pwn"

�8:01PM� <Waxx> though the fight was still tough, and many allied tanks and men were lost

�8:02PM� <Waxx> but the germans would not be lasting much longer

�8:02PM� <Waxx> with 1337 allied air cover now completely pwning the skies, they
could now concentrate on close air support

�8:02PM� <Waxx> the germans now got to experience this on the receiving end

�8:02PM� <Waxx> needless to say, they were all going "omg wtf"

�8:03PM� <Waxx> with the russians having pushed the germans completely out of
their homeland, the end was near for the third reich

�8:03PM� <Waxx> soon the allies reached the rhine river

�8:03PM� <Waxx> the germans, crafty as ever, blew up all the bridges across

�8:03PM� <Waxx> except one

�8:03PM� <Waxx> then some 1337 allies in some jeepz0rz ran across it

�8:03PM� <Waxx> the germans were like "OMGZ H4X"

�8:04PM� <Waxx> the allies had entered germany itself

�8:04PM� <Waxx> much fighting ensued, and eventually they reached berlin after
much pwnage being dealt from both sides

�8:04PM� <Waxx> the russians, vengeful as ever, were allowed to enter berlin first

�8:04PM� <Waxx> where they proceeded to pwn everything, no matter what in hell it
was

�8:05PM� <Waxx> hitler comes to his senses and goes "wtf..."

�8:05PM� <Waxx> he and his mistress commit suicide in an underground bunker deep
in germany

�8:05PM� <Waxx> the war in europe is over.

�8:06PM� <Waxx> meanwhile in the pacific.....

�8:06PM� <Waxx> with the americans having dealt a major blow to the japanese at
midway, they press their luck further

�8:06PM� <Waxx> they begin pwning islands

�8:06PM� <Waxx> island after island falls

�8:06PM� <Waxx> iwo jima falls

�8:06PM� <Waxx> okinawa falls

�8:07PM� <Waxx> not wanting to risk the insanely high casualty rate of an invasion of japan, the president decides to drop two atomic bombs

�8:07PM� <Waxx> the japanese surrender

�8:07PM� <Waxx> world war two is over

�8:07PM� <Waxx> everyone goes home and gets laid

�8:07PM� <Waxx> the end

�8:08PM� <Waxx> with that, gentlemen, i bid you good night

Black · 2004-01-26, 01:34 PM

Infernus · 2004-01-26, 01:37 PM

i still like hitler saying:WTF N00b, no, STFU

Liquidtide · 2004-01-26, 01:52 PM

That's the entire history of WWII in 25 minutes (minus good night). Not bad, you should go work for cliff notez.

~Tide

Infernus · 2004-01-26, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by Liquidtide

That's the entire history of WWII in 25 minutes (minus good night). Not bad, you should go work for cliff notez.

you forgot about the 1337n3ss of it all... n that aint me its a friends of mine...

Dharkbayne · 2004-01-26, 01:56 PM

_-Gunslinger-_ · 2004-01-26, 01:57 PM

Fucking awsome as hell. Is it completly historically correct? I know the big things are but what bout hte little things? Anyhow Im gonna have to save that one.

Rayder · 2004-01-26, 02:55 PM

There was a spy who convinced Hitler not to turn the Panzer division over to the beach landings, Hitler himself wasn't quite sure, but the spy got him to see the light.