your help is needed for...

[DeadTeddy]

...an attempt to blow up the earth.

this is quite simple. I have decided building a stong enough nuke is too expensive and even if I somehow get the cash it won't survive the trip to the earth's center. however, after a talk with a physics major in school, I have found a very simple plan to destroy this planet once and for all.

this planet is only held together by it's own gravity. the crust makes it look strong but in fact it's just a bunch of melted rock.

the plan is simple. on april 1st, the earth will unite in the ultimate april fools joke. blowing ourselves up.

at 6 am GMT all men and women are to face west and start running. people with cars and semi trailers may use them, as long as they don't take any passengers with them. every action has an opposite and equal reaction. by pushing yourself west, you are pushing the earth to the east. because everyone is doing it it will create a circular motion and make the earth spin around it's axis much faster (figure 1). firing things to the east or throwing large rocks will help as well.


figure 1

if done right, you will all notice a very quick day/night cycle which means the earth is spinning quickly.

what's the point? the centrifugal forces will counter the gravity of the earth making it much less powerful. then we can move to stage 2:

all men and women are to come to the poles (figure 2). since they don't spin nearly as fast, there should be almost normal gravity there. when I give the mark, all people will jump as high as possible(figure 3). 6 billion people at an average of 50 KG each (damn third world countries, couldn't you guys be fat?) this would make for 1.5 million tons hitting the ground simultaniasly. the earth will get squashed (figure 4) and with no gravity holding it together, the earth will explode (figure 5). just like squasing a tomato or running over a cat's head.


figure 2


figure 3


figure 4


figure 5

think about it people, blowing up the earth! there is no better practical joke then that! spread the word, this is gonna be huge!

thanks for your cooperation, I'll probably go to the south pole cause I like penguins, cya there.

[Sputty]

Or, you could just make a neutron bomb.

[Dharkbayne]

Yu0 = l00s4r.

[DeadTeddy]

actually this is an attempt to top the dumbest post on a different forum someone made. I was pretty bored and decided to go for it. didn't want to waste it only on 1 forum though.

[AztecWarrior]

World Domination is SO much more fun. Fnord!

[Rayder]

I say we go out into outerspace, rope us a neutron star, and tow it back.

[DeadTeddy]

flying to outer space costs too much, this is free and will help people get some exercise.

[BigFreak]

Originally Posted by DeadTeddy

actually this is an attempt to top the dumbest post on a different forum someone made. I was pretty bored and decided to go for it. didn't want to waste it only on 1 forum though.

This one beats it.

[321]

How about no.

[AztecWarrior]

You may as well have shot yourself in the foot with a .500 S&W Magnum.

[Rbstr]

Get some francium and alot of florine, and mix.


Big boom

[HawkEye]

this thread made me laugh

[Jaged]

Lets do it!

[Retroactive]

sounds like a plan!

[Baneblade]

We should test it on Auraxis...

PS: A Cobalt bomb would be more efficient and easier to organize...