[Life/Angst]Stupid people fucking suck.

[JetRaiden]

Ok, I have too many of these threads. Nonetheless, this is a bit of a big one. Well not really, but I desperately need advice and guidence for this.

So, at my school of 56 people, I hang out with maybe 5 or 6 of them. We all hang out in my room after class just about every day for hours on end, and we get into debates/discussions for hours. Its great, we all eat ramen and enjoy ourselves quite a bit.

One of the full-time attendants of my room, Andrew (18), is a post grad student, because he was a huge fuck up in high school. He has the career ambitions of a hobo. However, we do enjoy his company quite a bit, he's a funny guy and fairly intelligent, so he's always around.

One of my good friends here, Kacy (14), is an awesome girl. She's wicked cool and incredibly bright, and might graduate high school next year. However, she has had a tough life, so she tends to be depressed sometimes. I've talked her out of alot of bad situations, sometimes over AIM. We keep in touch on a daily basis whenever one of us is away for an extended period of time. I've basically been the only one to get her out of alot of shit, angst, and depression. I've dug her out of so many messes I should have a mining permit.

Our curfew is 11 pm, so at that time everyone has to be in their rooms and the internet is shut off. Some of my friends and I are rather nocturnal, so we usually get cut off mid-conversation. After the AOD(Admin on Duty) goes home, 1 or 2 people will flock back to my room for a couple hours or so. Recently, Andrew came in my room at about 12:30, while I was in the bathroom. He jumped out of my closet and scared the shit out of me when I returned, but he stayed and we talked a while. We discuss the most random shit, from Omaha Beach to kevlar to sodomy. In one example, I randomly asked andrew:
"Andrew, how well do you know kacy?"
"Pretty well I guess."
"Do you know-"
"-Virgin."
"Oh."
So yea, it was a bit random, and I didn't expect it to go anywhere, but it did.

The next day, after classes a bunch of us were sitting in the lounge before dinner. For the past few days I noticed signs that Andrew had a crush on Kacy, which I think is wrong on so many levels. He often had his arm around her, and sat next to her all the time. Kacy is kinda playful, so she didn't think much of it. So we were all sitting around, and my friends Aaron and Andrew were telling everyone about how my room is so awesome, apparently. Then, andrew brings up our discussion last night. And that question I brought up about Kacy. Wonderful. It was a very awkward moment for everyone, and I was embarrased as hell. Kacy has a little inside joke with all of us as being a "ho," (created by Andrew, as he is irrespectful of women) which doesn't have any relevance at all.

Ever since then(last thursday I believe), Kacy and I haven't spoken a word to eachother. Then tonight, she had another bout of chronic depression or something, except Aaron was playing Mr. Sensitive man, and not me. He told me how she is incredibly pissed because she thinks that I think she's a whore. I IMed her immediately after that, just a friendly hello. She responds instantly with "go to hell."

Not good.

I talk to her for a bit, and she's very, very, very upset. There was really nothing I could say in my defense. I was the first person she has completely trusted in a long time. And I betrayed that trust I guess, so now our relationship went to shit.

First things first, andrew is never coming in my room or hanging out with me again. This was obviously a ploy to get me out of the way because he wants her. Even though we're just friends.

Secondly, Kacy is like the best friend I've had in a while. We have similar career prospects of going to NYC (for college) after high school and stuff and always talk about how we're basically gonna live in New York and be friends forever (pathetic I know). I really dont want to lose a relationship to some dumbass.

Advice plz.

[Darksim]

Do you go to a boarding school?

[AztecWarrior]

The Right of the People to Keep and Bear Arms shall not be infringed.

In all reality, why don't you get a friend to explain to her what happened? This is a clear set-up.

[GeneralRazor]

Your story kinda skips around, so it's a bit hard to follow. But, my experience has been that in situations where the "unkind" gets in the way of good relationships, the best thing to do is to go straight to the source, and be blunt about your feelings. Let her know your view of what is going on (which she doesn't see, and will be glad you let her know, I garuantee )

Communication is key. When people are only thinking of themselves (which you are not doing), they need some perspective, so actions don't become something to regret. A heart to heart sounds like what Kacy needs from you. Believe me, her heart will hurt worse if you let the situation go it's course without you.

Andrew sounds like someone you could live without, and Kacy seems like someone you could live with. Let Kacy know what you feel, it will open her eyes. It will probably piss Andrew off, but you will have saved a fragile heart from double destruction and in turn made a start to a great relationship.

I wish the best for you...just don't let the bad guy take advantage of a good thing. It sounds to me like your heart is calling (and hers too)....and never deny your heart.

Edit: spelling

[Giovanni]

I think you pretty much summed up what you should say, there's nothing as bad as angering a good friend and you should just go ahead and tell what you said us... that she's the first good friend in a big while etc. etc.

[oddfish]

i've found that throwing globs of sperm on people tends to be a good way to fix problems.









..erm.. you might want to try what they said first, though..

[Baneblade]

Sex only solves problems if you...already solved the problem.

[JetRaiden]

Just got back to school today. My friend Aaron showed me the conversation he had with kacy, and I'm pretty mad that she thinks that thats what I think of her now. She didn't come to class today, which could be bad.

I also talked to Andrew BEFORE I knew she hated me, and he said he smoothed things over. Heh, I wish.

[Lonehunter]

Originally Posted by JetRaiden

First off, re-read this...

"Andrew, how well do you know kacy?"
"Pretty well I guess."
"Do you know-"
"-Virgin."
"Oh."

Then this...

This was obviously a ploy to get me out of the way because he wants her.

Sounds to me like you're jealous. YOU asked the question, not him. All he did was give his answer. I'm not saying he's a great guy but don't put it all on him.

Edit: Just wonderin, have you appologized?

Edit: Or explained how you and your friend talk about completely RANDOM meaningless SHIT that is meant to have no effect on anyone?

My friends and I do the same thing so I think I know what'cha mean

[Hezzy]

I think you're abit jealous. Otherwise, why should it matter?

Obviously if she doesn't give you a chance to say your case, she's not worth it. Let it go. You always have your right hand.

[Lonehunter]

Originally Posted by -Hezzy-

Let it go. You always have your right hand.

Plan B is never as good as Plan A but always better then Plan C, and let's not go there.

[Triggar]

She's 14. Based on my knowledge of people that age, she'll get over it in about a week when something shiny comes along.*

*I tend to have a black-and-white view of a lot of things. If she won't let you get your explanation in, then forget it. Someone who values a relationship with you won't write it off on an implication, they'll let you explain. They'll want to salvage the friendship. In my experience, the "go to hell" line translates from Female to Human to mean "please keep talking to me, I love the attention but want to maintain my upper-hand."

If you're really bent out of shape about it, write her a letter - she can't "hang up" or "block you" with that form of communication. Leave it open-ended, with the conclusion saying something like, "Whether you want to continue our friendship after this or not is of no consequence to me. I am writing you this letter so that we can both have all the information about the situation that lead to our debacle."

Good luck.

[JetRaiden]

I have apologized to her(last night), but she definately hasn't forgiven me or anything.

I'm not jealous of Andrew by any means, both me and Aaron are pretty mad he just went and told everyone what we talk about. What she doesn't understand is that its just a typical guy conversation. If I ask a question like that I'm not implying that I think she's a whore or anything.

I can definately agree with Triggar, you're probably right. Aaron showed me the conversation he had with her shortly before(or after) I talked to her, and I was the primary subject. And from the sounds of it, she will forgive me.

I'm gonna have a few chances to talk to her later today, and if not I'll just give it another day to cool down a bit. This isn't the kind of thing where I just say "I'm so sorry" or some shit. I'm really going to have to pour myself out on this.

Originally Posted by -Hezzy-

I think you're abit jealous. Otherwise, why should it matter?

Obviously if she doesn't give you a chance to say your case, she's not worth it. Let it go. You always have your right hand.

She is a bit irrational. She more mature then she should be for her age, but she thinks she has more life experience then alot of people. I'm there to basically keep her stable and from doing anything stupid.

[Squeeky]

God you young people are so full of angst today.

Smoke dope, get drunk, have lots of protected sex, and fucking relax.

[JetRaiden]

Originally Posted by Squeeky

God you young people are so full of angst today.

Smoke dope, get drunk, have lots of protected sex, and fucking relax.

Trust me, I try. I don't believe in true love or any shit like that. And I think I've done my fair share of dope and drinking, I just care about my true friends. I'm just as laid back as the next guy, but I just drag myself back into this kind of shit day after day.