[IT] Stupid User Stories

[Hamma]

http://www.zdnet.com.au/jobs/resourc...9239390,00.htm

Some classics here

10. User: "Is sausage bad for printers?" To this day I wish I had replied, "Patties or links?"

To this day my best user story was someone who told me they were out of white ink.

[Ivan]

This isn't funny; it's more of an annoying story. I had to go out to look at a copier that was leaving little lines on every copy. The customer was a 2 hour drive away. I get there, look at the glass scan bed and see that someone accidentally put pen marks on the glass. So I just clean the glass and the marks on the copies magically disappear. Then I drive 2 hours back...

[Hamma]

That happens with whiteout frequently

[Lartnev]

Ignorance is bliss..... except when in IT support.

I'm not sure what's worse. Being completely computer illiterate and making some fatal retarded mistake.... or being very computer literate and having to ask the helpdesk to reset your password because you had nums lock turned on on your laptop.

Nearly happened to me

[Electrofreak]

I work at ADT, right? Ever see that commercial where someone turns on the system and green numbers go flying out of the keypad and go all over the house to symbolize the place being protected? My friend told me about this call he had the other week, I kid you not:

Friend: Thank you for calling ADT Security Services, this is John.

Customer: Hello? Hey, I just had my system installed, and I don't think it's working right. The numbers aren't coming out.

Friend: Numbers? You mean the display isn't working properly?

Customer: No... that's working fine... I mean the numbers aren't going over the walls. I don't think it's working.

Friend: I'm not sure I understand.

Customer: Uhm, you know that commercial for your system, when you turn on the system it sends out the green numbers to protect the house.

Friend: ...

Customer: You know?

Friend: Sir... that was a dramatic effect... the system doesn't actually protect your house with numbers.

Customer: Oh. So how do I know it's working?

Friend: The keypad should display that it is armed. Some models have a red light that shows it's armed.

Customer: Oh... ok. I guess it's working then. Thanks!


Seriously... we get some of the most messed up calls ever. Today I had a lady tell me that she needed to have a tech out for the 3rd time this month to move a motion sensor (that we'd already moved for her). Her reason? Some guy is breaking into her house and pooping on the floor. He also dumped all her makeup down the sink to clog it. He pissed on her curtains. He stuffed q-tips down her bathtub drain. He rips up her pillows and sheets. Apparently he's been doing this since her husband passed away over a year ago. (Note: looking into our notes on the account, I noticed her "deceased" husband had called in about 6 months ago to advise an operator that she had a mental condition and that a particular service call wasn't necessary).

That's not even the worst I've had. I've spoken to some real nutjobs. One lady told me that ever since she got back from the mental hospital, someone's been sneaking into her house and mixing her clean laundry with her dirty, and cutting up her husband's underwear with a knife. The hardest part was when she said "unbelievable isn't it?!" and I was doing my damndest not to bust out laughing. I had to restrict my response to "Yes ma'am, that is indeed unbelievable!"

[Hamma]

"The numbers aren't coming out?!" hahahaha

[Peacemaker]

Oh boy.... Ok... here it goes.

Friend of mine was completly computer illerate. Horribly. He wanted to burn a CD. Well... he gets a blank CD writes "System of a Down" on it. Puts it in the disk drive, takes it out, and then holds a lighter under it. He puts it in a CD player and wonders why it wont work. He took the CD back to Best buy burnt and all..... and Yes.... he was stoned.

[Electrofreak]

Sounds like you're friends with some real winners peace