2006-04-13, 03:11 PM
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[Ignore Me]
#2
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I like the artical right below that one...
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Report: Gamers = Lamers, 4 rlz
The "Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine" journal is publishing various reports about the media's effects on children in its April issue, as reported by Steven Reinberg of "HealthDay." The studies suggest that kids are lame and, if you see them, you should push them down and steal their pre-order for Halo 3.
One study specifically about video games made the shocking find that violent games, as Reinberg writes, "appear to instill poor attitudes in children when it comes to their own health" (the "Kids Eat More And Exercise Less While Playing WoW" theory). "When the men played the more violent video game [...], they had greater increases in blood pressure, and those who played Grand Theft Auto had more negative emotions and hostile feelings," explained Sonya S. Brady, a postdoctorate fellow (fella) at the University of California. That will probably lead to some angry masturbation later on (GTA will, not Brady, although I haven't seen her face). Those kids were also more likely to drink and get high. Party in dad's basement? Awesome!
Another study discovered that 81% of mature-rated games "contained depictions of substances or sexual themes or profanity that was not noted," said Kimberly Thompson, an associate professor at the Harvard School of Public Health, discovering another selling point for video game publishers ("there's bonus boobs!"). Thompson's research team played a quarter of the mature-rated games on the market, meaning there are more gore and tits in 81% of 25% of mature games, which roughly translates to three titles total (Did you...did you feel that? That alliteration rocked me right from scrotum to sternum).
This article was brought to you by a gratuitous use of parenthesis, Johnson & Johnson, and Viewers Like You.
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