Tell me what you think (music stuff)

[CyricMoonblade]

Tell me what you think

http://www.doubtfulsin.com/Music/Im_...th_suicide.mp3

I play rhythm guitar, my friend pat plays the lead, and my friend matt plays drums. We just pulled this out of our asses one day well recording some other stuff. We worked on it more and it now has words and a bass line, but tell me what you think of just this the original recording.

the song starts after about 45 secs, i star playing a rhytm part, and my friend just kinda jumped in.


Please constructive criticims only

[CyricMoonblade]

[ABRAXAAS]

Its got kind of a 60's feel ,kind of a jim morrison and the doors kinda feel ,kinda slow ,but it hold possibilitys, but I really kept expecting to here Jim morrison pop in . overall not bad .

[CyricMoonblade]

lol thanks, never thought of the jim morrison 60 thing lol. It is a very mellow song though :-P

[Lonehunter]

That totally sounds like stoner music, but if you made the lead guitar play the same melody, but lower notes, it would be better I think.

[Fire_Monkey]

Well, there aren't many people on right now so expect more posts later. I think it's great work, kinda mellow, and even though I'm into alternative/metal this sounded almost professional grade.

Good work

[CyricMoonblade]

it wierd lol our drummer is punk, im alt rock, the lead guitar is 80's rocker, so yeah lol thanks for the compliments guys :-P

[Lexington_Steele]

That was pretty good.

First the technical bits. Your drummer sounds a bit stiff and needs to work on his chops. There was a missed note or two but I am sure you can fix that with some more practice. The delay effect near the begining caused some rhythmic problems. Two solutions for this are either to adjust the dalay time and get used to playing along with the delay, or quiet the delay effect a little bit. You could probably use a 4th player.

Let me see if I have this right, you had a phaser on the rythem and a delay and reverb on the lead? You might want to increase the frequency on the phaser and kick up the LFO on it a bit (if it has an LFO). The lead guitar might have wanted to be a bit less wet.

Musically I think you have the core of a good song. Becareful playing rhythm guitar with just a lead over top of it. In this scenario you are more than just a rhythm guitar you are also the entire basso continuo (accompanying harmony). Elecectric guitar is not necessarily the best instrument for this role because it runs into problems with parallel fifths and parallel octives when you are moving bar chords up and down the neck. When this happens, a sence of tonality is lost. This is the main reason I think you guys could use a fourth player. If you had a bassist or a keyboardist (or both) this wouldn't be as much of a problem.

The rhythem guitar part was generally good but it was a bit too static. Think of different variations on the part you were playing. Examples would be drastically changing the rhythem of it, inverting the chord progression, arpegiating the chords, modulating to a different key, ect.. The drum part was a bit on the simple side and I am not sure that it fit with the rest of the song. I am not sure how big your friends kit is and he might want to invest in some different kinds of symbols. His drum part shouldn't be too much more elaborate though.

The big thing: the song just seemed to roll along. You have a good core, but the song never builds up to anything. There aren't peaks of excitement. You can creat peaks many ways. You can do something like have the rhythm guitar drop out and have the lead play a melodic progression that is going higher and higher and then you come in on the tonic chord just as he is about to hit tonic (natural places to come in would be when he is on the 5th or 7th scale degree). Be creative, I am sure you can think of many ways to creat builds and moments of excitement. Keep the song dynamic.

Think carefully about the structure of the song. How think about why you have something in there and if it adds to anything. Every note and every cadence should have a purpose. It should not just be you repeating a riff with someone else soloing over it.

Like I said, you have the core of something that could be great, keep up the good work.

BTW, if you have any questions about my responses, feel free to PM me.

[Fire_Monkey]

wow, I never knew lex was so into music, I understood about half of that. Good info...if he understands it.

[CyricMoonblade]

Lex U just became my most fav person on these boards :-D

I don't know much about music theroy, I'm self taught, as our teh others, but I do undertand a bit of what your saying :-P

That was only the second time we played the song, we had a tape recording and we kinda flowed with it.

Since that tape we now have a BASS part :-D

The drummer added a double bass kick, wich fits nice. but his Kit is outdated, its a five piece-makeshift kit with an added bass, but with out a crash cymbal.

We do have another guitarist as well who was playing with us today, but he just added confusion to the lead part.

That was only the verse riff you guys listend too, Im working on a chorus. I'm thinking A-Em-A-D or something to that effect (least that what i played earlier that sound decent)

I'll work on adding some arpegion style picking to it, and see what come out, also Could you tell me what chords I'm playing lol?? the fretts are simple barre cords. 799 :::: 577 ::: 355 and i don't now anything on naming barred chords :-P

thanks!

Lex I would love to hear any and all input you have!

[CyricMoonblade]

Originally posted by Lexington_Steele
That was pretty good.

Let me see if I have this right, you had a phaser on the rythem and a delay and reverb on the lead? You might want to increase the frequency on the phaser and kick up the LFO on it a bit (if it has an LFO). The lead guitar might have wanted to be a bit less wet.

Actually I'm not sure :-P I use a AX100G Pedal made by KORG, and a PEAVY amp. I had my AX set to an effect called COMP LN, I sometime switch it to acoustic, but not in this recording. It's actually like the ACOUSTIC and PHASER sounds of my pedal mixed together. I think i can increase the freq of the phaser, i dont have my pedal right now, so ill get back toyou on that.

Not sure about the Lead, know he has a delay, more than likely a reverb as well.

[Lexington_Steele]

Originally posted by CyricMoonblade
That was only the verse riff you guys listend too, Im working on a chorus. I'm thinking A-Em-A-D or something to that effect (least that what i played earlier that sound decent)

I'll work on adding some arpegion style picking to it, and see what come out, also Could you tell me what chords I'm playing lol?? the fretts are simple barre cords. 799 :::: 577 ::: 355 and i don't now anything on naming barred chords :-P

"A-Em-A-D"
You should take some music theory at school, it is more helpful than you think. I would call this V-ii-V-I progression in the key of D major.

When you think like this it is easier to know how to play with and varry the progression. You can substitute a IV chord for the Em and it will function the same way. In this case you would be playing a G chord instead of the Em. Also you could substitute a diminished C# chord for the A for some variation.

I = tonic (in this case D)
ii = dominant preparation (in this case E minor)
IV = dominant preparation (in this case G major)
V = dominant (in this case A major)
diminished vii = dominant (in this case C# diminished)

a "Tonic" chord is the root of your progression. It is where you are going to start and end.
a "Dominant preparation" chord suggests the "Dominant" chord
A "Dominant" chord suggests tonic.

This is why your suggested chord progression sounds good to your ears. It is not a random combbination of chords.

A-Em-A-D is Dominant(suggesting tonic) -Dominant preparation (suggesting dominant)-Dominant(suggesting tonic)- tonic (you made it back home, congradulations) .

799 is B (BF#B)
577 is A (AEA)
355 is G (GDG)
none of them are major or minor because the third of the chord is missing. You might want to include the 3rd of the chord to add more color to your chords. When you use heavy distortion you leave the third out because it muddles the sounds and sounds like a mess. If you are not using distortion, you might as well have a minor or major third in the chords for variety.

so:
7998 or 7997
5776 or 5775
3554 or 3553

The problem with using these chords up and down the neck is that you lose tonality. The root and the fifth and the octave of the chord are moving in parallel motion (moving in the same direction and the same number of scale degrees). That is bad voice leading and causes you chords to lose their harmonic function (the no longer function as Dominant/dominant preparation/tonic substitute/tonic).

Try not to move bar chords up and down the neck. Remember though that all rules have exceptions and if there is a reason for you to want to lose tonality, feel free to use them.

[CyricMoonblade]

wow.... i actually understtod most of that! sweet! thanks lex, I will be taking soe theory classes eventually, but the problem is i have to pay for college all myself (stupid middle class america, we always get screwed) But i will, and I do study alot, but I have trouble cus some time I think i grab something, i should of waited to grab you know?

[CyricMoonblade]

ahh yes i usslay do play them actually 5776, 7998 etc. just habit to leave those out at the moment, bad habit... too much crappy guitar tabber want to be's out there who do it lol

something i know i have to work on :-D

[Lexington_Steele]

Feel free to ask me any questions, whether it be about music theory, guitars, guitar gear, keyboards, samplers, any music software, and any recording hardware or software.

Music is what I do. (arguing politics is merely a hobby )