Terran VS Vanu

[TimberWolf2K]

I thought this was kinda cool so I'll post it here,
Inspired by last nights shoutcast Enjoy:


VanuScum01: "Hey what�s that noise?"
VanuScum02: �It appears to be an Aircraft named the mosquito, allow me to insert a witty comment in my next statement referring to the insect form of the Mosquito�
VanuScum01: �Huh?�
VanuScum02: "let�s swat it!!"
*Foolish Vanu attack the lone Mosquito*
VanuScum02: "Ha ha observe them move in the opposite direction from us!"
VanuScum01: �huh?�
VanuScum02 �Ha Ha! Look at them run!�
VanuScum04: "wait....what�s that OTHER noise"
*sound of roaring engines and Banjos fills the air*
*3 Marauders full of Unwashed yet Deadly TerranGrunts bound over the hill and make towards the Vanu outpost*
TerranGrunt01: "Cummon Vanews, Lets Wrestul. I bet I can make ya squeal like a piggy!!"
TerranGrunt05: "Lets gettum!"
*the Terrans unleash a barraged of Heehaws that force the Vanu to flee their outpost in their Hover buggies*
VanuScum03: "If we can make it to the Team discovery Channel base we have a fighting chance"
VanuScum06: "I concur�
*The "Heehaws" of Unwashed yet Deadly Terrans is only drowned out by the equally inspiring sound of "Dueling Banjos" being blasted out from their "Customized speakers" attached to their Rides*
TerranGrunt06: "Commence op-O-ration havoc on ma signul!"
*A marauder pulls up on each side of a Vanu buggy and one over takes it, sitting right in front of!!, the Vanu are boxed in, nowhere to run...surely they are done fore*
TerranGrunt06: "op-O-ration Havoc is GO!"
*suddenly the Terrans draw their weapons and point them at the Vehicle....*
TerranGrunt06: "Attack!"
*Turning their weapons around the Terrans begin to beat the Buggy with the handles of their guns!!*
VanuScum07: "OMFG! Their chipping the paint! Their CHIPPING THE PAINT!"
VanuScum04: "No no no! not the chrome bumper!"
*After several minutes of unrelenting punishment the Vanu finally reach Team Discovery channels base*
VanuScum10: "Active the area division counter balancing device!!"
VanuScum13: "Huh?"
VanuScum10: "The gates you Neanderthal! Open the gates!"
*the chipped and scraped Vanu vehicle glides in, the gate slamming shut after them*
TerranGrunt07: "Open dem dar gates ya Purple pansy�s or Yall gonna be sorry"
VanuScum11: "what�s he saying... someone get the translation book"
*a Vanu soldier whips out his Terran to Vanu translation guide*
VanuScum11: "ok, he Wishes that we Activate the area division counterbalance device to grant them access to our compound or the consequences will be dire"....*thumbs through the book some more* "either that or he want to know if we have seen his Grandfather lately"
VanuScum09: *shouts over the wall* "I regret to inform you that we have had no visual confirmation of the where about of your Grandfather, We are willing to assist you in a search if you would be so kind as to conduct yourselves in a civil and Dignified manner"
*the Terran look at each other puzzled*
TerranGrunt01: "What tha heck did is he yammering about paw?"
TerranGrunt06: "Ah dunno, but dem sure does sound like a Fightin wurds!"
TerranGrunt07: "A said let us in or else we is gunna have a ho down and cause a ruckus until ya does!!"
*all the Vanu turn to look at VanuScum11*
VanuScum11: "I do recall stating to you in an afore mentioned conversation that you do grant us access to your compound, the resulting consequence for you not complying with our demands being, that of we will place oversized glass liquid containers to our lips and expel a mixture of oxygen and carbon dioxide from out lungs to create a audible vibration in the air. During the course of this audible vibration we will move our limbs in an unconventional manner while creating loud noises until you comply with our demands"....."Ether that or they wish to use our bathroom"
VanuScum09: "We regret to inform you that we cannot grant you access to our compound to allow you to use our waste disposal unit as we fear you will not conduct yourself apparently whilst inside. And you will most likely leave the seat up"
*the Terrans look at each other puzzling for a minute...*
TerranGrunt07: "HODOWN!"
*several grunts begin to blow over the neck of large water bottles while the others dance and ****
TerranGrunts in unison: "Yeeeehawwww"
VanuScum12: "Most undignified and displeasing to my ears, I fear that I will not be able to withstand such an audio barrage for much longer... Let us drive them off with our trivia knowledge of the forests of Auraxis"
VanuScum06: "I concur"
VanuScum12: *shouting over the wall* "The trees that surround Lake Hamma may look like the common oak but they are actually closely related to the Elm, when you closely examine their DNA structure"
*The Terran stop Jigging and look up to the Vanu*
VanuScum08 "The Dio bird that dwells in the trees to the north of here actually prefer the shade of the Shamboigle tree but those are currently being occupied by a flock of Crested eMa's"
Terrangrunt05: "what in the name of squirrel tail antenna covers are they yammering about?"
TerranGrunt04: "I'll be danged if I know....but I�m a scared"
VanuScum04: "I believe our trivia is having the desired affect, The common Fire_monkey was responsible for more than 73.62% of all forest fires on the 1st quarter of this year, Lucky we AirLift'ed them to the safety of our polar contents where they can causes no further damage to our ecosystem"
TerranGrunt01: "That�s it am a outa here, them Vanews is tawlkin crazy tawlk"
TerranGrunt04: "uh hu, lets get back to the barn, if we leave now we can catch Wheel of Fortune!"
Terrangrunt07: "But we cant let the Vanews think we are all scared o' them"
TerranGrunt02: "But what about the Wheel!"
TerranGrunt09: "A gots mes a plan!......RUN AWAY!"
*So the Unwashed yet deadly Terran pile back into their rides and make for home*
VanuScum03: "Success! using the knowledge of the tree dwelling wildlife we have overthrown the enemy!"
Vanu in unison: "SCIENCE POWER!"
VanuScum06: "Would anyone like to join me in a rousing game of Dungeons and dragons?"
Vanu in unison: "oooh Me!"

[Fire_Monkey]

nice, could this be considered fan fic?

[Destroyeron]

rofl, hilarious.

[TheJrade]

<--- was going to post something, but suddenly remembered that he hadn't even started reading tonight's D&D module...

[simba]

well written

[Tobias]

Hey are you trying to say that all us Vanu are a buncha geeks who just play D&D?


I will have you know that I am Vanu and...uh...oh darn thats right I do play D&D....fook you.

[TimberWolf2K]

Who ever said being a geek or playing D&D are bad things?

[Squeeky]

Geeks=Win mmk?

[TimberWolf2K]

Without geeks we wouldnt have cool sites like this:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/index.shtml

and without D&D we wouldnt have that DnD cartoon in the late 80's with the ripoff Yoda guy.

Geeks and DnD make the world go round...that and duct tape

[Sando138]

Timberwolf has inspired me to make one of these of my own.

Vanuscum1: I wonder, what is the emitter of this vile racket?
VanuNewbie: Huh?
Vanuscum1: i asked What's making that noise, neolithic barbarian!
Vanuscum2: could it be those foul unwashed terrans again?
Vanuscum3; i place severe doubt on that conclusion.
Vanuscum1: Very well, lets begin the confusion anew.
*Vanuscum1 walks to the walltop to see a blue and gold Deliverer pull up and expel 5 NC.*
Vanuscum1: Did you know that the average rainfall in the area of Hossin is .04% higher than all surrounding areas?
NCguy1: (to his buddies) What the heck is he talking about?
NCguy2: sounded kinda like an insult to me...
NCguy3: hey you purple *** ** ***** *** ******* go ***** ur ***!
NCguy1: jeez, can you stop flaming? it makes the rest of us look stupid.
Vanuscum2: is'nt it interesting that the common Vreas likes to nest in watchtowers?
NCguy3: supid FKn VANEU! go *** you ****** **** ** ****!!!1!
NCguy1: c'mon, shut up!
NCguy3: ************* ********* ** ************!!!
*NCguy2 shoots NCguy3*
NCguy1: Now, thats better. Where were we?
NCguy2: I think they're trying to confuse us.
NCguy1: lets see.... how do we confuse a Vanu who is addicted to technology? hmmm.... i got it! i have this old... *discusses his plan with his buddies*
Vanuscum1: *to his buddies* all evidence currently suggests that our current tactic is successful. shall we give them some more knowledge?
Vanuscum2: let's do.
*Vanuscum1 turns to talk to the NC to see them all pointing their REKs into the air above Team Discovery channel base.*
Vanuscum2: what in the name of Technophobia are they doing?
Vanuscum1: hmm... lets try to use simmilar methods... perhaps they discovered an alternate use for their REKs...
*Vanuscum1 and 2 point their REKs into the air too*
Computer: *Beep* Download complete, initiating Windows installation... Please wait... Installation complete.
NCguy1: Its working!
Vanuscum1: Ahh! what is this foul "software incompatibility error" when i try to fire my rifle into the air to scare the idiots away? a blue screen impedes vision on my Heads Up Display...
Vanuscum2: *tries to fire his gun too* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! it apparently is the Blue Screen of Death! i thought it had been all but destroyed in the upgrade to Vanu Operating System!
NCguy2: whoohoo! now lets get out of here beore they say any more trivia.
*Deliverer APC pulls up, they get in and drive away*
NCguy2: what was that program you installed?
NCguy1: an old program from a thousand years ago. it was so buggy then that it's now used as a computer virus... installing windows on their combat software created such a bad software conflict that their base's generators wil go critical in about- *BOOM* nevermind...

[Obi-1]

OMG, I never laught so hard in my life.

GJ to both of you.

[Arshune]

Originally posted by TimberWolf2K
Who ever said being a geek or playing D&D are bad things?

D&D rocks, I miss playing it. Ever since the majority of my friends got driver's licenses all we ever do is go to steak buffet. All you can eat steak is prime, but I still miss such things as Chi-chi the war pig and wanton hag murdering...

[Fire_Monkey]

That was GREAT Sando

[Tobias]

Aye my old D&D group has been broken up for like two years. Damn life.

[TheJrade]

You must rage, rage against the coming of adulthood!

It took one of us getting married (and his sacrifice will always be remembered) to get my gaming group back together again.

You have to sell it like a poker night, just for nerds. I tell my boss I can be on call at all times, just not Wednesday night.

By the way, if you ever see me online at 6:00 pm Wednesday Eastern time, tell me to get my happy ass offline and clear off the kitchen table before the guys get here!