Top Eight Morons of the Year

[Squeeky]

Top Eight Morons of the Year

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine
months, saying he lacked Intellectual leadership. He
received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours
attempting to subdue a gunman, who had barricaded
himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was
standing beside them in the police line, shouting
"Please ... Come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,
kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two
different automated teller machines, where the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop,
and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for
three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself
during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in
the lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your
money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not
what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife
is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was
arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America
branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he
failed
to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

8. AND THE GRAND FINALE.................
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in
the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield,
California, some folks, new to boating, were having
problems. No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going properly.

It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no
matter how much power was applied. After about
an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a
nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell
them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition.

The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down,
the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of
the marina guys jumped into the water to check
underneath, he came up choking on water, because he
was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer ...!!!!!

[TimberWolf2K]

ROFL! hahaha Nice Squeeks Very nice.

[Camping Carl]

[�io]

When detectives asked each man in
the lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your
money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not
what I said!"

[Sputty]

Those are great

[Big Bro]

Those are almost as good as the "Darwin Award" threads I've seen. Man, there are sum dum people out der.

[Destroyeron]

No way those are true. i refuse to think that 9 people on Earth are THAT stupid!

:r ofl::rof l::

[Destroyeron]

oops..8 people.

[Sando138]

they are this stupid and MORE! allow me to copy and pase in a Darwin award...

Darwin and Newton share a laugh...

Chihuahua, Mexico is home to two hot caverns containing the largest natural crystals known to man. "Walking into either of these caves is like stepping into a (sweltering) gigantic geode," described one awed observer. Some of the clear selenite crystals are over 20 feet long.

The newly-discovered caverns, 1200 feet below the surface of the earth, carry a curse for those who seek to plunder their riches. A man recently tried to steal one of the magnificent crystals from the roof, and might have succeeded... if he hadn't stood directly beneath it while chopping it free. He was pinned beneath the sparkling stalactite as it heeded the call of gravity, and roasted in the 108 F cave.

(And now, the Bricklayer! (one of the famed urban legends...)Accident Report

This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the
ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

One more, and the pic says it all:

[Khronos]

funny stuff guys. thanks for the laugh.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

ouch lol