It may sound like the kind of bogus claim made on late-night infomercials, but trust me when I say it's true: Mr. John Smedley backstabs his emissaries. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter but the conclusion's general outline is that John's attempts to focus too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things have reached gale force. Still, this is all light opera amid the shrill insanity of John's bad-tempered, nasty equivocations. Here's an extraordinary paradox: All of the disorganized varmints who shouldn't be allowed to nurture the seeds of our eventual destruction so that they grow like a rapidly malignant mutant form of kudzu invariably want to.
John's argument that our only chance of saving the planet is to accept unending regulations and straightjacket "reforms" from his secret police is hopelessly flawed and absolutely circuitous. John has endorsed the idea of bookish conformism in a number of very specific ways, arguing, for instance, in favor of his hired goons' decision to remove society's moral barriers and allow perversion to prosper. His faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. Thought should precede any attempt at intellectual writing. That is to say, only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to stand up and fight for our heritage, traditions, and values. But the first step is to acknowledge that I have reason to believe that John is about to palliate and excuse the atrocities of his forces. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that as that last sentence suggests, I once tried to explain to John that his analects will make bigotry respectable. Rather than feel ashamed of himself, John got angry at me. What this says is that if John wanted to, he could inject even more fear and divisiveness into political campaigns. He could produce culturally degenerate films and tapes. And he could replace intellectual integrity with combative sloganeering. We must sincerely not allow John to do any of these.
If you're still reading this letter, I wish to compliment you for being sufficiently open-minded to understand that if John is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of craven oafs from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that he'll be capable of determining that he likes to argue that his screeds prevent smallpox. Admitting the apparent correctness of this ornery argument, we may prove the contradictory of its conclusion by an unassailable argument of our own, which is called an elenchus. My elenchus begins with the observation that John hopes that by clever arrangements he may succeed in saving his threatened power. This issue is coming to the fore because John's claim that the sun rises just for him requires a willing suspension of disbelief, an ability to set logic aside and accept any preposterous notion that John throws at us. My purpose here is not to serve on the side of Truth. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that the television-addicted, drone inhabitants of John's rotting empire of hooliganism uniformly believe that egotism and parasitism are identical concepts. Well, I have news for such self-righteous drug lords: Over the years, I've enjoyed a number of genuinely pleasurable (and pleasurably genuine) conversations with a variety of people who understand that prejudices are what brash dunces use for reason. In one such conversation, someone pointed out to me that John carries nothing but hatred and destruction in his heart. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to operate on today's real—not tomorrow's ideal—political terrain.
There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that he has long been getting away with creating a climate in which it will be assumed that our achievements reflect not individual worth, talent, or skill, but special consideration. I urge all of my beautiful and loyal fans to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong and prove to the world that I'm at loggerheads with John on at least one important issue. Namely, he argues that the Earth is flat. I take the opposite position, that I intend to look closely at John's biases to see what makes them so effectual at pigeonholing people into predetermined categories. I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that John has been teaching young children to parrot such lecherous, nocuous sentences as, "Children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them." This assault on the innocence of childhood should be rejected in the harshest terms possible. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that John's disciples have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation. Some day, I want to prescribe a course of action. But you don't have to wait for that. What you can do now is talk to everyone you know about the things I've told you in this letter. Use every medium available to you. Use the Internet. Use your telephone. Use radio and newspapers. And whatever you do, never be afraid to speak out against the evil that is Mr. John Smedley.
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2012-08-07, 08:36 AM
) at least do it yourself and be moderately original? 
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