Manifesto

Tricky · 2003-03-27, 02:45 PM

A clan-mate of mine sent this to me and I thought it was pretty funny. He titled it the 42nd Fire Ant Brigade Manifesto but I feel it holds true for all Planetside players and I thought you guys might get a kick out of it. Check it out..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted within the American dream.
I have a dream that one day I will have my own closed-beta copy. If that dream never comes into fruition, I still will have a dream�to have my own open-beta copy. If that dream fails to materialize, I still will have a dream�to own my very own retail copy. If that dream fails to materialize, woe to the world, for Sony Online Entertainment shall be covered by a cloud of locusts, and its liar developers shall feed upon the hands of the thieving retailers, and the thieving retailers shall feast upon the tongues of their liar brethren.

I have a dream that one day Planetside shall evolve into the closest thing possible to a readily available non-DOD war-games simulation that every man, woman, and child has the right�no, the responsibility to play.

I have a dream that one day, on the green hills of Gunuku, the Terran Republic, the New Conglomerate, and the Vanu Sovereignty will be able to gather together in great numbers and frag the unholy SH*T out of one another.

I have a dream for my outfit to struggle together, to get 0wned together, and to ultimately vanquish thy enemies together. The blood-soaked continents of Auraxis shall be transformed into a battlefield where Vanu and New Conglomerate soldiers pile upon each other to form a skyscraper of corpses, and their screams of pain are surpassed only by the deafening music of chain-knives grinding into flesh.

Together we stand for eternal l33tness, knowing that we shall someday 0wn j00 all.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be choked with smoldering MAX armors, every hill and mountain side shall be made plentiful with snipers, the rugged terrain shall be made flat by the incessant passage of tanks, the crooked paths shall be made straight by the endless barrage of pounding missiles, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed when all traitorous eyes shall see as one just before getting impaled by Tricky�s Mosquito.

This is our hope. This is our creed. This is the faith with which we continue to strive for in the world of gaming. With this faith we shall be able to grasp out of the gameless void a broadband modem of hope. With this hope we shall be able to transform the dangling discord of our gaming past-time into a beautiful symphony of blood and metal. With this manifesto we shall no longer scream out in hopeless horror at low-ping whores, but instead become the most uber in low-ping sluttyness ourselves and sing in the words of the old spiritual proverb of the gaming grandfathers, "F*cking camper! Wallhack! CHEATER!"

This is our manifesto.