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2003-04-10, 06:18 PM
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[Ignore Me] #1 | ||
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Major
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I thought we could all use a good laugh, so post your favorite jokes here.
Here's a good one: John, Tom, Paul and Sam are playing golf one spring day, walking the course and chatting among themselves as golfers are want to do. As they arrived at the 11th green, nestled into the corner of the course at the intersection of two busy streets, John removed his hat and lowered his head as a large funeral procession passed by. The other members of the foursome were more than a little impressed. "John," Paul said. "that is one of the nicest gestures I have ever seen. Most golfers would have putted out and gone on their way." John looked up at the group with a tear in his eye. "It's the least I could do," He replied. "we would have been married twenty six years this Thursday."
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"I am Camping Carl, with the power to sit and do nothing!!!" Vanu still suck.... |
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2003-04-10, 06:22 PM
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[Ignore Me] #2 | ||
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Master Sergeant
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wtf?+? HEY LOl i get that1!!
He went golfing instead of going to his wife's funeral!1! lOL... damn im so tired...  Ohh heres one... just posted it elsewhere but what the fuck... Roses are brown, violets are brown... HEY!1! Who the fuck pooped in my flowerbed?!?
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2003-04-10, 06:29 PM
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[Ignore Me] #3 | ||
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Staff Sergeant
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this is an odd one but what the heck:
A TR and NC were fighting over whoose empire was better. The NC said he could blow apart a limb with one shot. The TR said he could fill the air with more lead then the NC's IQ lvl in a second. The NC said, open up yor barrel. So the TR soldier opened up the barrel and said yup, i was right, i have 3 bullets
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2003-04-10, 08:30 PM
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[Ignore Me] #6 | |||
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Private
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The funniest thing about your joke is you go out of your way to say "fuck" twice but you say "pooped" instead of "shit"... 
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2003-04-10, 09:18 PM
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[Ignore Me] #8 | ||
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Second Lieutenant
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A Terran Republic soldier, a New Conglomerate soldier, and a Vanu Soverigntey soldier all accidentally come across a magic lamp on the beach, but no one is sure who rubbed it first. so the genie decides to give them each one wish: whatever wish is made, the two representatives of the other factions recieve double(IE one wishes for 10 dollars, the others get 20).
The Terran soldier thinks for a while and says "I'd like a tank." pow, a prowler appeared behind him. but two Vanguards appeared behind the NC soldier, and two MAG-riders appeared behind the Vanu. The Vanu thinks for a bit, and Says "I wish to aquire a base all to myself." and poof, five bases appeared on an unpopulated area of the continent; 1 Vanu, 2 NC, 2 TR. The NC has been thinking all the while, and then he says "Well, first, i was gonna wish for a tank. then that Terran got me two. then i wanted a base. but that Vanu got me two. so here's my wish: you see that branch over there?" "Of course." replied the genie. "Take that branch and beat me half to death with it." --------------------------------------------------- A VS and a Terran walked into a bar. the NC nearby was laughing his ass off; you'd think one of them would have seen it...
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Last edited by Sando138; 2003-04-10 at 09:21 PM. |
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2003-04-10, 10:14 PM
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[Ignore Me] #11 | ||
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Lightbulb Collector
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Lol Sando!
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2003-04-11, 05:40 AM
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[Ignore Me] #14 | |||
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Master Sergeant
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Who the fuck shitted in my flowerbed? Shit is a thing, not an action, thank.you.very.much.mr.smartass
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