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PSU: Use the woman and children as rafts!
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2003-04-11, 10:14 AM | [Ignore Me] #1 | ||
Top 8 Idiots of 2002
> > > > > > > > Idiot # 1 > > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology > > at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very > > upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I > > quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there > > would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She > > calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to > > mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in > > order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her > > daughter into the Emergency room right away. > > Idiot # 2 > > Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to > > steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it > > out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a > > Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out > > that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon which > > activated when the raft was inflated. > > They are no longer employed at Boeing. > > > > > > Idiot # 3 > > A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a > > downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a > > stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting > to > > give his note to the teller, he began to worry > > that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before > > he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed > > the street to Wells Fargo. > > After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo > > teller. He read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't > > the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his > > stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and > > that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go > back > > to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. > > He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at > Bank > > of America. > > > > > > Idiot # 4 > > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured > > his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the > > mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent > > the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received > > a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of > > handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. > > > > > > Idiot # 5 > > Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the > > cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the > > robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the > > shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused > and > > said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." > > The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him > > because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's > > license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it > > over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in > > the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier > > promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber > that > > he got off the license. > > They arrested the robber two hours later. > > > > > > Idiot # 6 > > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving > > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" > > When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. > > > > > > Idiot # 7 > > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that > > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some > > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head > > at the window. > > The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, > > knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of > > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. > > > > > > Idiot # 8 > > Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into > > a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am flashed a gun and > demanded > > cash. > > The clerk turned him down because he said the couldn't open the > > cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion > > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The > > man, frustrated, walked away
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2003-04-11, 02:54 PM | [Ignore Me] #12 | ||
Staff Sergeant
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Heh, I read them in a "Tales of the Wierd" column in a paper we get here.. but they are still great.
Man, too many people are like that. Heh, Here's a question for you guys.. What if that "not-so-bright" would be robber wrote instead: "7h1z 1z 4 571k ^. Pu7 477 uR $$ 1n z b4g. j00 r Qwn3D, BEEYATCH!" Would the teller even know what he was saying? Hehe. Most likely not, I presume.. unless of course the teller part of (our?) that sub-culture. Heheh imagine..
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